Home > Coaching > Debunking the 10 Reasons of Why You May Resist “Coaching”

Debunking the 10 Reasons of Why You May Resist “Coaching”


As a Life-Coach, I can’t help but notice the resistance of many to hire the coaching service especially here in Lebanon (even if it meant offering it for free sometimes). I’ve been approached by many more people who’d want to earn a certification in “Coaching” than to actually be “coached”.  I was especially disappointed when I was inviting some of my acquaintances to a workshop I’m preparing with other colleagues in the Lebanese Coach Association on the benefits of coaching. The indifferent responses totally put me down. Some were very frank in saying they’d rather go to a gathering where food and “arguileh” are served. I went like “Ouch!! This is going to be harder than I expected!” It got me thinking of reasons to that reluctance and I found many. I’d like to clarify and debunk these for the few who would even consider, but who hesitate thinking that:

  1. I don’t know precisely what coaching is: Our knowledge is never complete. Don’t you want to know what it is? Children are very inquisitive and this is what helps them grow. What happened to the child in you? Don’t you get bewildered at someone saying “I don’t like this thing or that” before even giving it a go? Why don’t you update your knowledge about coaching to better judge whether it could help you or not. For an overview, please visit the link here before reading on.
  2. My pillow makes one fine place to share and keep all my secrets: Sure it is! Your pillow would never tell. Then again, there’s a downside to that silence too. Unlike your coach, your pillow will never ever reciprocate your monologue and clear up your mental chatter. How interesting would those conversations be? You need to trust on this: Discussions are commonly deep and touch on sensitive personal issues in which secrecy is always ensured. Trust your professional coach and don’t worry about revealing your inner thoughts, attitudes, and outward behavior. Coaches would never judge you negatively no matter what your background is. On the contrary: They dig up and capitalize on your strengths.
  3. It takes too much effort to change: Of course it does! Rarely are successes handed on a golden tray. Many would forget how amazing it would feel to be the better person they deserve to be. Think of your major achievements for a moment. How did these happen? How do you think the turtle beat the rabbit in that long run? It’s through that consistent little effort expended little by little. Your coach will cheerlead you and support you remain focused on your long term vision. Then, the positive changes make all the effort you exerted worthwhile.
  4. I’m confident and strong enough to resolve my own problems: Some would even reason: “I know myself inside out and I don’t need anyone to give me advice”. Just to clarify: you’re coach is not your advisor and it certainly does not mean coaching is for the feeble minded, nor for those who lack confidence. If that was the case, prominent and successful people wouldn’t continue to have their own personal coaches supporting them become even more successful. Examples stretch from actors, pop stars, business executives, and politicians. Even the best coaches (like Tony Robins and Jim Rohn) have their own personal life coaches. It’s a partnership along the path of success to fine tune whatever is needed.
  5. I have enough support from my family and friends: And this is wonderful; however, can you guarantee that they’ll give you all their full attention, patience, and time? Not only that, people you know are very subjective and biased. They may need you to remain the same way you are to suit themselves better (not you). Your changes may scare them and deprive them of some power over you. Or, it could just be that they would not be as excited about your positive changes as someone you’d hire to help you thrive. Your personal coach is more objective and with no hidden agenda. It’s your agenda at heart. You’re granted full thoughtfulness and support to grow in any area you choose to focus on.
  6. I don’t have the time to commit to the coaching process: You’re right about needing to allocate some time for your own self-development. Allow me to remind you that your life is the most important project you can ever work on. Don’t you think it’s worth making the time for? And if you’re pressed with time, then maybe what you really need is someone to support you adjust that “time barometer” right. Coaching helps you start implement positive life changes in a speedy way. It takes only a little portion of your time, but saves you a whole lot more. Left to your packed schedule, you may never start the inward development.
  7. It’s a costly service: you’re right about this one too. Same argument applies as above. Investing your time in your own self-growth is no different than investing some money in it too. Besides, your coach is equipped with skills that you won’t easily find in your circle of support. Don’t you think your coach has invested a lot in learning the “hows” and ought to be reciprocated for that knowledge?
  8. I don’t have major problems to resolve: Some would argue that they have resolved their problems with a psychologist earlier on and now everything is under control. Now seriously, is everything under control?  If this is your case, then you belong to that rare category of people who do nothing and spend their lives in an idle mode. Is playing on the marginal side the right way you’d like to continue living? Yes, you can remain in your comfort zone, but you’ve got only yourself to blame when you realize that life passed you by unnoticed.
  9. There’s nothing I can do to change my life circumstances: This is the argument adopted by those who live in a victim mind set, feel helpless, and adopt a passive surrendering mode. These need coaching most. Even in the harshest circumstances, people can still control their attitude (that is if nothing else can be done). Coaching not only helps you see things differently, it enables you to toy around with plenty more options to deal with even the toughest life situations.  
  10. I do a great job at self-coaching and am already achieving plenty: Shiver me timbers! So you’re the type who thinks “I know it all”. Good for you! Truth is: coaching already assumes you’re your own life expert. But maybe…. Just maybe your high drive leaves you too immersed in your own agenda that the high achievement is coming at an expansive cost to other vital life areas. This is when your coach can help you maintain a reality check on balancing it all while observing what you leave unsaid or un-tackled. Furthermore, wouldn’t it feel better to get a “high five” upon accomplishments than celebrating on your own? Do you remember to celebrate your achievements at all? hmmm… thought so… To top all of the above, your coach will do that for you.

 

Any more arguments about why you’d still resist having your own personal coach? To my knowledge, these cover it all. And if you still think you don’t need a coach, rest assured you can still benefit by hiring one. It gives you an edge that propels you forward into maximizing your life fulfillment. Your successes will be acknowledged and championed. You will learn how to tap inside yourself to discover your own brilliance and greatest potentials.

May I, now, invite you to give it a go? You can still not “like” it, or choose not to indulge in such self-pampering later. But I am confident, if you love yourself enough, you’ll give it the attention it deserves. After all, who wouldn’t like the company of a better self? That’s one entity you surely are stuck with for the rest of your life.

 

 

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  1. November 9, 2011 at 8:53 pm

    Alas, Dania, you have repeated some of the excuses and reasons I often hear from folks who don’t understanding coaching and who feel they don’t need it, or it won’t help them. Sad but they are missing out. It’s important to focus on the ones who are open and receptive and whom we have helped. I think, though,l that if they can hear some of the concrete results we have helped clients achieve, they may be more open. Good post!!!

    Like

    • dddania
      November 10, 2011 at 3:38 pm

      Thaaanks for your comment Iris 🙂 you’re absolutely right!! I probably need to have highlighted a testimonial section or paragraph to be more convincing 🙂 yes, many don’t know what they’re missing out on 🙂
      Thaaanks again 🙂
      kisses & misses 🙂

      Like

  2. November 9, 2011 at 8:54 pm

    Whoops, I am always typing too fast. I meant who don’t “understand” coaching. Sorry!

    Like

  3. wassim65
    November 10, 2011 at 8:51 am

    Excellent article! airtight arguments!
    And people, if you are smart enough to make an appointment to see a life coach, don’t get cold feet and cancel it at the last minute! Coaching is beneficial only if you actually attend the session. 🙂

    Like

    • dddania
      November 10, 2011 at 3:35 pm

      Youuu bet!!! thaaanks for the feedback Wassim & for encouraging others. So when is your coaching session again?? 🙂 🙂

      Like

  4. Sarah K
    November 10, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    I love your enthusiasm and your drive to bring people in, but the truth is, each of us has their own journey, and I think it there is a time and a place when people feel ready. It sounds unfortunate, but i think it takes a significant amount of pain before one would be motivated to make changes. In my experience, pain and misery are the best catalysts towards seeking relief and self-awareness. That said, I agree that there is alot of stigma surrounding this subject in our culture, so finding ways to de-bunk this will make a dramatic difference… All the best DDD 🙂

    Like

    • dddania
      November 11, 2011 at 6:46 am

      Sarsar 🙂 🙂 so happy you’ve left a comment 🙂 🙂 I can’t agree more with what you said about pain being the catalyst for change and all the stigma surrounding “needing help”. I earlier observed that was the case for those who have sought therapy and was very discouraged to see that applied similary to those who seek coaching. I couldn’t believe they were reluctant to share their experience with their frinds and only reasoned it’s like a “stigma” too 😦
      One question still baffles me: Do we really have to hit bottom before we decide to change? Let’s hope not. I am counting on the new trend of self-development without the pressing need 🙂 🙂
      Thaaanks for your wishes habeebteh 🙂 🙂

      Like

  5. November 11, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    As someone new to offering L-Cin’/launching my first blog/using WP.com – I thought to look at other related WPblogs … and I am already seeing revealing results; in that the title of a blog’s post can attract or … not.
    Obviously the title of your post here attracts. I look forward to following the posts … appreciated, r

    Like

    • dddania
      November 11, 2011 at 6:51 pm

      Many thanks for your kind words 🙂 i’ll be happy to follow your blog as well 🙂 once you start the writing, you’ll get hooked 😉 you’ll realize it in time 🙂
      All the best on your new project pal 🙂 🙂

      Like

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