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Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What Are your Assumptions?


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Look closely & examine those assumptions you attach to certain situations that you have little information about. You certainly speculate what you don’t know & life is full of “unknowns” day in day out. You make decisions despite that & to the best of your guesses.

Examine, now, the assumptions you hold towards other people (partner, close friends, or distant acquaintances). You give these, too, their share of wild “guesses” that perhaps no one possesses. It’s automatic the way you assume as if you have a need to fill in the gaps to eliminate any stresses…

If you’re the suspicious type, you’re likely to have assumptions of negative intentions. You doubt what others are up to despite their disclosure. You’re uncertain about what they hide behind a probable facade they wear, & distrust the truth of what they share or declare. You assume otherwise just to beware.

And you don’t have to be guarded to keep assuming. When there are no “givens” at hand, you replace thoughts or ideas in empty places to fill in the puzzle-like empty spaces. People are so complex to fully understand & their vagueness can be difficult to withstand. Your assumptions can become in high demand.

Let me tell you this: ASSUME makes an ASS of U & ME. If you don’t inquire, you jump to conclusions that may totally be mistaken. If you don’t communicate to explore, you wouldn’t have definite answers at all. If you keep silent, your created version can be endlessly prolonged.

“Most failing relationships are loaded with assumptions that lack ground. They trigger misunderstandings that, with time, compound.” ~ 3Ds

It serves you better when you dissipate your assumptions with a gentle drill for truths. Through dialogue, verify your speculations with proofs. It takes two to “tango”, they say, so how else can your dance be synchronized?

Eliminate negative assumptions, but allow those that move your relationship to being crystalized. Remember you’re in the same boat if you haven’t, yet, recognized.

Here’s one healthy assumption I’d like your thoughts to be crowned with: “I am fully capable of resolving all of my mind’s myths”. then act as if ….

By the way, you look fantastic in that new attire 🙂 Okay, now go get ready to inspire 🙂

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your Mind Gym – Where In Time Do you Mostly Live?


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Have you ever wondered where in time do you mostly live? Do you live more in the past? In the current moments? Or do you keep thinking a lot about the future? Assess for a moment…. Or start observing yourself if you have no clue.

Most of us combine being in past, present, & future time orientations all together during one day on most days. Still, at times, we get stuck in one time zone for a longer while ….

If you spend a lot of time in the past, eventually you can become depressed. Your thinking likely rotates around memories most of which could be unpleasant – if not horror-like.

If you spend a lot of time thinking about the future (& we’re not talking about fantasizing here), eventually you can become anxious. Your thinking would be more worrisome thoughts of what could happen, or what will go wrong all of a sudden.

When you spend too much time in either time zones you’re tormented, unhappy, & dysfunctional to say the least. What we all need to remember is:

The past prepares you to invent a better future. It’s your best teacher. You can’t change it. Re-visit it if you have to, but quickly abandon it.

The future can’t be predicted, & the possibilities of what could happen – in number – are unlimited. Have a vision of your direction & use it as your path projection.

“It’s no use to rewind the past if you won’t learn from it just as it’s no use to worry about the future if you’re not actively creating it.” ~ 3Ds

It is this specific moment that’s real. It’s the “now” zone where you ultimately live. Make it a moment to enjoy & make sure all your senses to deploy.

It is today that you will be creating tomorrow. Plan it well, but don’t dwell. Just “go” today with no delay.

So here’s a momentary workshop for you: Choose the best idea & wear it. Get the best feeling to decorate it. Take action instantly to confirm all this. End of momentary workshop.

Whoa, what a moment, ha? Would you practice this more often?

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – Would You Rather Suffer, Or Just Be Pained?


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My earlier writings were about enhancing well-being, about facing challenges, about thriving not just surviving. Today, I feel I am addressing mere basics of surviving the insecurities surrounding living in Beirut (the new hub of random theft of lives).

Two consecutive car explosions in less than a week’s time took place ending so many precious lives at a time when we were to celebrate the beginning of a new year. Some of my closest friends lost their child (Mohammad Al Shaar) leaving them devastated, pained, & badly shaken…

Any one of us could have suffered the same fate…. The life of any other one we love could have been stolen just the same. Most of us, back here, feel the danger. Most of us feel the potential loss. Our survival with those we love is threatened at every second of the day….

As I empathize with the family of those deceased at both times, and as I recall my own earlier losses, one major blessing comes to mind. We are lucky that the intensity of all negative emotions (e.g. sadness, pain, anger,….), with time, wanes. Feelings don’t stay the same…

It’s been said that “time heals”. What it actually heals is the adverse emotions we feel. Think back of a time you went through a lot of distress. It could be months back or years. Unless you still suffer a major trauma, normally, you’ll notice that it doesn’t hurt as much & perhaps those negative emotions have disappeared.

What comes to mind now, also, are the stages that the terminally ill go through when facing imminent death. These are summarized by the acronym “DABDA”: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, & Acceptance. It is this last stage that brings again peace. What we resist persists; what we embrace gradually dissolves.

So how is this relevant to those insecure feelings that hover all over our lives during current times? It’s true we’re threatened. It’s true we could be terrified, angry, sad, pained, or depressed, but we’ll only bend; never break…. Our feelings will eventually change when we distract… So,

“Change the equation:

Pain + accepting = pain;

Pain + resisting = Suffering.

Pain is inevitable; Suffering is optional.” ~ 3Ds

No matter what happens. No matter what we lose. No matter what we face. We can finally choose to resume somewhat normal living despite the pain by remaining engaged. The alternative is to torment ourselves by staying locked in the vicious cycle of negative feelings & resist the idea that things happened.

I’ve seen so many people use their distress to ignite their thriving despite all insecurities. I’ve, also, seen pained people endlessly suffering.

What will be your choice in whatever you face?

Which equation with whatever feeling you have will you choose?

Your Personal Coach

  Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s Your Plan For The Holidays?


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Va Va Vaction is neaaaar!! Yo! Ho! Ho!! Aren’t you excited? Some time to catch your breath. A lot of time to spend with family & friends. Extra time to do something different. That sought after change away from your usual routines….

So how will you use whatever extra time you have on your hands? Any special plans? Go ahead… Interrupt your somewhat mundane long life story with a special mark that stands… What can you arrange doing with or without your fans?

I’m not referring to the usual “lunch it” here, or “dine it” there kind of outings you use as a treat. I’m not even referring to that long vacation you may aspire. I’d like you to consider unsual stuff you don’t normally do. Star gazing, playing with snow, walk in the woods, or throwing frisbee to name a few…. Simple, yet refreshing things you never had the time to before…

There is so much out there you could be leaving inexperienced and unexplored. I wonder what you’ve been postponing. I wonder what you’ve dreamed of doing just for a little while.

Seize the opportunity now & spare yourself those I should’ve… I could’ve…. I must’ves… Such thoughts will attack you in no time. Routines will hit you in the face soon enough. They’re around the corner with their usual stuff…

“Those refreshing unusual little things you don’t always do may just be the inspiration changing your world view” ~3Ds

And don’t we all eventually detest monotony? Your chance is near. In fact it’s here….

The trick is just ask yourself more questions (just like a child). What are you curious about? What would the dreamer in you give as suggestions?

Then plan with a child’s heart! Turn those ideas into “supposed tos” now & start!!

Ah, pleaaaase, may I join…? After you dearest…

Va Va Vaboooom 🙂

Have a merry merry Christmas! 🙂

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your Mind Gym – What Scares You?


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There are things that we all detest having; go great lengths to avoid facing; do our best to escape their encounter at every chance. These could be good for us, or bad.

I’m interested today in those unshared distressing ones that scare you. They either haunt you & you can’t keep them out of your mind, or you do your best shove them away somewhere behind.

Are you anywhere on the two poles of this continuum? If you obsess about these, you’re probably drained. And if you’re disregarding these, you’re in another way pained.

In both cases, you’re mostly anxious & scared. There’s no way out but to face these instead of letting it drag. If you want to get it over with, this cannot be spared.

“What we avoid, escape, or deny does not make it invisible. Chasing it down will eventually be that awaited miracle.” ~ 3Ds

Get off that seesaw; disrupt its presence; get down to its essence; fight it with all weapons…. In brief, start a well-planned chaos…

You wouldn’t want to remain at the mercy of its omnipotence & you’re certainly liberated once you remove the power it threatens….

Ughgh .. that feeling of being controlled! Come’on, precious, let’s be bold!! Did I just hear a lion’s “roar”?

Shiver me timbers… You give me goose bumps 🙂

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your Mind Gym – What’s On The Other Side?


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We often wonder what’s on the other side; how it’s like to have what we don’t have now; what is it that closed doors hide…. ?

Curiosity stirs us, sometimes, to plan delving into new paths… At other times, we just wonder &, in the process, we wander… & those ideas remain untried…

But what if you did seek that path? & eventually found wonders…. Can you just imagine what you would have been missing out? Lost opportunities, new experiences, & a change to the better, beyond doubt….

Do I hear you say: “What if I flounder? I can’t simply undo my mistakes with an eraser. Remaining in my place is much safer….”

“Two temptations can move you out of a status quo: Too much pain stirring you towards healing, or the lure of success made really appealing” ~3Ds

The middle ground, here, by no means is helpful. You need to tip the scale to the extreme of being really dreadful, or cheerful….

Then you can better envision what’s on the other side. And if a door along that path remains closed, you can build another. Mishaps will only make you discover that you are becoming tougher…

I see trees of green… Red roses too… I see them bloom… for me and you…

Many voices sing: “It’s a wonderful world!” Who are we to argue?

Mais oui… 🙂

Your Personal Coach

    Dania

Time For Your Mind Gym – How Do You Use Your body?


I’ve got something new for you today. Some “physical home/gym” tips to top your “mind gym”. How would you like it if I suggested you use your body to feel confident, to be empowered, to be happy, or energetic? Oh yes! You can use your body to change your mental or emotional states in ways you’ve never thought of before. Would you like to explore?

Just few minutes of changing your posture has a great impact on hormonal secretions in your body or brain. Give it a go now & see its positive impact on your strain.

To feel empowered & confident: get your body into “power poses” to produce “testosterone” (the dominance hormone):

– Sit like a boss right now: put your hands with fingers crossed behind your head & cross your legs up on a table in front of you.

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– Ok, now stand up feet astride & hands on hips like “superman” or “wonder woman”. You can shift to put your finger tips on a table in front of you & lean slightly forward as if you’re addressing an audience.Image

– Sit back on your couch with an open posture (legs slightly apart with arms & elbows open beside you).

To feel happy: put a pencil horizontally between your teeth making your lips stretch wide open in a smile & bite on it (your brain will interpret your evoked facial expression as you’re smiling & happy). The “happy neurotransmitters” get secreted in your brain & eventually you will be even happier.

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 To energize yourself: Do several jumps (perhaps to the sound of music). These jumps release the toxins in your body that could have been precipitating the fatigue.

To feel more relaxed: Make sure you’re not reading this from your mobile with a closed posture. This would increase “cortisol” (the stress hormone) in your body. If you’re reading this from a computer, open up your body to get “testosterone” levels up (it also enhances your creativity). An open posture is more receptive to new ideas.

So what did you apply? What did you feel? How will you use your body from now on?

It’s been said “fake it till you make it”, but with repetition, & when dealing with all life situations, what you repeatedly do, you eventually become…..

Show “you” what you can do… The show has just begun…

Yeh? Did you say “you” won???

Celebrating with “you”…

Your Personal Coach

          Dania

Time For Your Mind Gym – What’s The Running Away For?


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It’s Sunday! A weekend for most to become in a sort of lazier mode. A time to take a break, sit back to relax, & catch your breath from all the weekday’s running. It’s the much anticipated time to chill….

That would be just a supposition that wouldn’t apply to many. They just wouldn’t sit still. As if no time in the world would be enough to what they want to fulfill….

These could be the high achievers, the burdened with responsibility, or the constantly “pressed with time” folks who need to catch up on leftovers on their agenda, otherwise their productivity goes downhill…

Then again, they could be those folks who simply distract from scary notions by piling up more on their “to do list” to avoid facing distressing emotions, financial constraints, or other matters that stem from good will….

It could also be running away from “harsh realities” that are storm-like speeding the motion of their wind-mill… Is it to digest what they can’t bear, or perhaps an attempt to change their course uphill?

In truth, they’re all running away from something, but in the process they forget that they have an energy tank they need to constantly refill.

“By all means run away somewhere when all seems too overwhelming, but make sure it’s towards having a chill. That would be your best re-energizing pill.” ~ 3Ds

Or would you want to skip the time to rest or reboot just to maintain the thrill? That certainly would leave anyone ill…

So shall we chant it’s “Me time” now like a mantra drill?

Chilling you on Sundays always (with a “suprano” like approach)….

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your Mind Gym – Who Do You Please?


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Most of us attempt to please. You may call it being polite. You may call it keeping ties in good light. And you may call it agreeing in order to avoid a fight. Still, attempting to over-please may come with a lot of dis-ease and eventually disease (see how close these two words are?).

It would feel whenever you’re saying “yes” to them, you’re actually saying “no” to what you truly desire and prefer. It is your own time that you defer to later; and the gap between what you really want to do and what you’re actually doing becomes greater.

Are you, or anyone you know in any similar state? Some would say it’s just “sacrifice” to demonstrate care. Others would consider it a deposit in their “favor bank” that will inevitably return a yield that’s fair.

And perhaps some can’t properly label, name, or coin what they’re doing right. They just drift in the cycle of being the “pleasing type”… With time, they’d be filled with self-spite…

If you think about it, “There’s a difference between being pleasant and being pleasing. The latter comes with a lot of self-teasing.” ~ 3Ds

It doesn’t mean you’re disrespecting others when their request you decline. It’s about respecting yourself enough to ensure that in the end you’ll be fine.

All you have to do is give a pleasant “no” by offering an explanation to why you can’t this time. Perhaps assign another date to better accommodate. It really is no crime.

These are fine lines we ought to learn to navigate. Anyone for a “self” website profile update?

Let’s tinker with that magic wand to get it straight…

Yes pleaaaaaase?

Shazaaaam…..

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – Which Battles Do You Fight?


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Doesn’t it seem to you that you’re in the middle of a war zone facing several other fronts all the time? You wage a battle here to face a problem & unknowingly get attacked there by yet another issue from behind; & then all the fields are on fire when it’s the least you aspire…

Battles drain all soldiers (brave or not); and whether you’re self-selected or recruited to engage in a fight, you’re more prone to be in the quagmire even if you win, at last. with a grin. Major & minor challenges eventually exert their toll therein…

Back to my main question: Which life battles do you fight? You know… the ones you choose (not dragged into)? The old adage “choose your battles wisely” is so handy if you are to have energy to stand straight & not succumb to just any bait….

Matters of the heart leave you weakest; & therefore, any battles in that direction have a spill over reflection on everything else you do. No wonder you’d go great lengths in overprotection of what you most cherish & behold dear.

Your heart, & what’s in it, may be the reason for the most daunting battles you lead. They’re loaded with your emotions. The question is: Is all “what’s in it” rightly placed? Sometimes, “what’s in it” is just misplaced & perhaps the right battle ought to be to have it replaced….

“Not all things we place in our heart are worth the fight. The fiercest battles would be to extract some out of sight & fit in only what’s right.” ~3Ds

Downsize their importance, shrink their dominance, re-shuffle your priorities, & leave like a knight. That’s the better way to change your plight!

Choose to place instead new things, people, or goals to pursue. All it takes is one firm decision & some determined intention to follow through….

Label this time “Heart Under Constructions”, commander, & give your instructions…

Basic plan ready at hand? Let’s make the new one grand!!! 🙂

Your Personal Coach

Dania

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