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Time For Your Mind Gym – Who’s Your Best connection?


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You probably have too many connections, but there are mainly a few you bond really well with & can’t tolerate living without. You’re more attracted to them because they’re harmonious with your core thoughts & values in & out. With these special connections you’re more inclined to hang out; You share your stories & concerns; & with them, your dreams are more likely to come about.

These special connection, with time, strengthen & become your preference. In your circle of friends, other people become located farther away & more remote as a reference. Let’s be real, those closer connections are more prone to make a positive difference. They understand you without your uttering any word or sentence.

Right in the middle of these few, there’s YOU. The shortest distance from any other connection – anywhere in view. The easiest to reach; The best there is to teach; The only person, for sure, you’re forever glued to. Among all other connections, YOU’re the one you’re closest to; Perhaps the only one available, sometimes, to turn to.

I say this because so many times, even those closest to your heart will be so busy, at many points, with their own lives. You reach out & no one arrives. And when you’re all alone & do feel lonely, you’ve got to have a mechanism to survive. Being left on your own to deal with your demons could scare like hell anyone alive.

“One of life’s blessings is having close connections. The best to select & nourish always is our own inner reflection.” ~ 3Ds

It’s true others can encourage & validate your perceptions; yet, the sources of truth are found through your own introspections.

Seize those moments of solitude, always, to gravitate within, befriend that miracle inside, & understand your complexion.

As you do that, allow that center to be filled with magnet-like affection. Then you can radiate back to that closest selection.

In your inner circle (I hope) of closest connections,

I remain,

Your Personal Coach (planting insights & direction)

Dania

PS. I’ll be the guest speaker in the relationships & expectations seminar “Adam & Leave” with Dr. Hady Safa on March 13 at 6:30pm in Babel Theater Hamra. You can know more details & how to book your seat here: http://www.strides-ddd.com/?page=latest-events

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What Makes You Jealous?


Jealousy

Com’on don’t deny it… You’re jealous!! I’m not referring to the romantic type here & it doesn’t have to be that kind carrying all sorts of negative connotations! You’re unknowingly comparing yourself with others most times & get in the state upon your own negative evaluation.

It can stir you to raise your standards when you say; “I want to be exactly that!” You observe & then imitate; keep at it till you’re there; & then you get to celebrate. But what happens if those feelings you incubate? & no action, to be there, you demonstrate?

This is when the sum of negative feelings defining jealousy compound: fear, resentment, insecurity, & the like… in the heart, these go round & round. They distort the thinking, leave one bitter, & immerse one deep down in the ground.

I can’t be “this”; I won’t have “that”; Someone else is taking what I attempt at…. Thoughts like these & more can keep one victim of creepy anticipations. Why fret & fuss when it’s up to you to become better not bitter with frustrations? Why envy others for what they have when you can focus on your own good foundations?

“Jealousy can either push you to outperform what you used to be, or keep you flaming & boiling in one place to high degrees.” ~ 3Ds

And we both know that there is so much brilliance in your core; That being different doesn’t necessarily have to make you sore; That you can always do more, be more, & spread your wings beyond any shore…

Perhaps you don’t focus much on the fact that you’re so loved; That many times people, here, look at YOU & say “I wished I were that!”. Perhaps you don’t know that all angel near or far are fascinated by your grace; & that in your trace, they’re in a non-stop race…

If only you know there is no real good reason to be jealous just now. Sure, there’s always room to grow & improve, but as you are, in current times, you illicit more than a “wow”!!

Aiming always to lift up your mood, I bow before your greatness in awe… 🙂

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Categories: Coaching, Growth, jealousy

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – How Do You Show Your Love?


 

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Valentine’s day is near (Hip Hip Horraaaah!!!). Time to show your “Love” how much you truly loooove them – as per current marketing trend. That day, though, may not be the best of days for many on the receiving end. For all I know, it’s the “gloom & doom” day when they get to feel so unloved, or all positive expectations suspend 😦

To those “single”, Valentine’s day is freakin scary. There’s no partner to give them that special attention. Not that day; not any other day. Alone with their own shadow they’re left to dance & sway.

As for those who do have a partner, they’re lucky to have one; hence, wait for that open expression that “you’re, in fact, the one”. But what if it doesn’t come? Aaaah…. in waiting, it makes them feel so dumb…

On a more positive note, if you’re on the giving end, & you always forgot to be expressive before, perhaps that day is a perfect reminder to stop being such a bore & delay showing your care no more. It really is no chore. On the contrary, it makes your relationship soar….

My question is: do you really need a special day to express how much you love & care? Why not do it every day each time choosing a different way? It’s like the fuel that keeps others going. It’s the one thing that you should never hesitate showing.

“Love is not just an emotion, an expression, or total devotion. It’s a series of acts ruthlessly kept in motion” ~ 3Ds

When acts of love are demonstrated, it’s not only how it makes others feel. It is how you, in turn, blossom & heal from any ordeal….

Just as you ought not keep your partner deprived, your relationship with others you care about need to be constantly revived…

And if you go right now to the nearest mirror, you’d get to meet the true love of your life thereof….

How often do you show THAT what we’re speaking of?

Hoping a whole lot of….

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Categories: Coaching, Expectations, Mind Gym Tags:

Time For Your Mind Gym – Who Do You Compliment?


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Do you notice yourself complimenting others often high and low?
Is it in your system to acknowledge the good qualities in people you know?
Do you care to make it your style to spread positive vibes everywhere you go?

If your answer is yes, yes, & yes to the above, then you surely are the ROCKIEST company to be with. It’s no fun to be with someone who’s emotionally neutral; Worse still if you’re constantly with someone who puts you down.

Surely you know at least one person who sees & says the good in you when no one else pays attention; The kind of person who’s always upbeat, cheerful, & positive in every possible way. You know, one whose speech bathes you with confidence even after they go away.

Wouldn’t it be “cool” if you were that kind of person in other people’s lives? Praise others at every chance; Trigger their good feelings at first glance; Raise their thoughts to an uplifting trance.

It’s like most people have become “praise misers” these days. They keep positive comments locked in safe & spend only random thoughts, what’s necessary, or their negative appraise. Be the exception; Be that outlier; Praise what no other perhaps says.

“A sincere compliment holds a lot of power just like the mesmerizing effects of a positively stated phrase. It could be the only nice thing others hear for long daunting days.” ~ 3Ds

That’s “why” compliments are vital. Back to the main question now: “Who” do you compliment? Is there anyone in specific who’s more entitled? Not reall. It’s all inclusive: Your partner, sibling, waiter, colleague, or idol…. Make no exception even of your rival.

You ask “how”? Start a cycle; Start an epidemic; …. Program your thoughts to see the good; Rephrase your speech as much as you could… Make sure you’re well understood….

It all comes back for your own good. And soon enough, they’ll be shooting a ROCK-umentary about you wearing that magical flattery hood…

Keep ROCKing as you’re talking…. In your traces, others will be walking…

Before I leave, I’d like to relay a message the universe wants you to believe: :You’re incredibly charming…” 🙂

There… That cycle is just starting….

So who’s your lucky target? Next pleaaaase …. 🙂

Your Personal Coach?

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s Your Story?


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So what’s your story?
No, I’m not asking you to narrate how you lived since birth till now.
No, I’m not referring to those recent challenges you faced, or how.
Noooo, I’m not requesting you open the floodgates of thoughts you normally disallow….
Oh my! You’re talkative today; you know? 🙂

The story intriguing me, today, is about an area in your life that you always wanted to change, or improve, but never really started.

I’d like you to gather your thoughts around why you didn’t initiate the change till now. Notice the justifications you provide just to keep it all too guarded.

You think these are valid reasons that lead to the delay. Think again: are these truly reasons, or mere excuses? Both are what your mind introduces to hinder that start.

And the story commences each time you recount to yourself, & sometimes to others, what you want to do then directly justify why you cannot. As if your mind commits an act of treason to your heart with every reason offered to keep the “action taking” phase behind locked bars.

“The story you tell yourself for why you never start life changes, with time, magnifies. Break it into smaller steps & incremental changes will eventually actualize.” ~ 3Ds

You do need to transform that narration, though, before you embark. Let your heart speak what the change will bring you & how happiness will ultimately spa. On that instant beginning, allow it to have its call mark.

Let it say: “Enough delay!! i deserve a better life & I’ll find a way. No more reasons, excuses, hesitation, or dismay. I’ll do something differently day by day!!”

Absolutely stunning “change” starts with just a “move”; and that is just a thought away. Think it…. Again, with your heart….

Who’d have thought that the turtle would beat the rabbit in the long run, ha?

I have a brilliant idea: Let’s start messing with the circumstances & twitch things slowly today, ok?

Apres vous…

Your Personal Coach
Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What Are your Assumptions?


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Look closely & examine those assumptions you attach to certain situations that you have little information about. You certainly speculate what you don’t know & life is full of “unknowns” day in day out. You make decisions despite that & to the best of your guesses.

Examine, now, the assumptions you hold towards other people (partner, close friends, or distant acquaintances). You give these, too, their share of wild “guesses” that perhaps no one possesses. It’s automatic the way you assume as if you have a need to fill in the gaps to eliminate any stresses…

If you’re the suspicious type, you’re likely to have assumptions of negative intentions. You doubt what others are up to despite their disclosure. You’re uncertain about what they hide behind a probable facade they wear, & distrust the truth of what they share or declare. You assume otherwise just to beware.

And you don’t have to be guarded to keep assuming. When there are no “givens” at hand, you replace thoughts or ideas in empty places to fill in the puzzle-like empty spaces. People are so complex to fully understand & their vagueness can be difficult to withstand. Your assumptions can become in high demand.

Let me tell you this: ASSUME makes an ASS of U & ME. If you don’t inquire, you jump to conclusions that may totally be mistaken. If you don’t communicate to explore, you wouldn’t have definite answers at all. If you keep silent, your created version can be endlessly prolonged.

“Most failing relationships are loaded with assumptions that lack ground. They trigger misunderstandings that, with time, compound.” ~ 3Ds

It serves you better when you dissipate your assumptions with a gentle drill for truths. Through dialogue, verify your speculations with proofs. It takes two to “tango”, they say, so how else can your dance be synchronized?

Eliminate negative assumptions, but allow those that move your relationship to being crystalized. Remember you’re in the same boat if you haven’t, yet, recognized.

Here’s one healthy assumption I’d like your thoughts to be crowned with: “I am fully capable of resolving all of my mind’s myths”. then act as if ….

By the way, you look fantastic in that new attire 🙂 Okay, now go get ready to inspire 🙂

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your Mind Gym – Where In Time Do you Mostly Live?


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Have you ever wondered where in time do you mostly live? Do you live more in the past? In the current moments? Or do you keep thinking a lot about the future? Assess for a moment…. Or start observing yourself if you have no clue.

Most of us combine being in past, present, & future time orientations all together during one day on most days. Still, at times, we get stuck in one time zone for a longer while ….

If you spend a lot of time in the past, eventually you can become depressed. Your thinking likely rotates around memories most of which could be unpleasant – if not horror-like.

If you spend a lot of time thinking about the future (& we’re not talking about fantasizing here), eventually you can become anxious. Your thinking would be more worrisome thoughts of what could happen, or what will go wrong all of a sudden.

When you spend too much time in either time zones you’re tormented, unhappy, & dysfunctional to say the least. What we all need to remember is:

The past prepares you to invent a better future. It’s your best teacher. You can’t change it. Re-visit it if you have to, but quickly abandon it.

The future can’t be predicted, & the possibilities of what could happen – in number – are unlimited. Have a vision of your direction & use it as your path projection.

“It’s no use to rewind the past if you won’t learn from it just as it’s no use to worry about the future if you’re not actively creating it.” ~ 3Ds

It is this specific moment that’s real. It’s the “now” zone where you ultimately live. Make it a moment to enjoy & make sure all your senses to deploy.

It is today that you will be creating tomorrow. Plan it well, but don’t dwell. Just “go” today with no delay.

So here’s a momentary workshop for you: Choose the best idea & wear it. Get the best feeling to decorate it. Take action instantly to confirm all this. End of momentary workshop.

Whoa, what a moment, ha? Would you practice this more often?

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – Would You Rather Suffer, Or Just Be Pained?


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My earlier writings were about enhancing well-being, about facing challenges, about thriving not just surviving. Today, I feel I am addressing mere basics of surviving the insecurities surrounding living in Beirut (the new hub of random theft of lives).

Two consecutive car explosions in less than a week’s time took place ending so many precious lives at a time when we were to celebrate the beginning of a new year. Some of my closest friends lost their child (Mohammad Al Shaar) leaving them devastated, pained, & badly shaken…

Any one of us could have suffered the same fate…. The life of any other one we love could have been stolen just the same. Most of us, back here, feel the danger. Most of us feel the potential loss. Our survival with those we love is threatened at every second of the day….

As I empathize with the family of those deceased at both times, and as I recall my own earlier losses, one major blessing comes to mind. We are lucky that the intensity of all negative emotions (e.g. sadness, pain, anger,….), with time, wanes. Feelings don’t stay the same…

It’s been said that “time heals”. What it actually heals is the adverse emotions we feel. Think back of a time you went through a lot of distress. It could be months back or years. Unless you still suffer a major trauma, normally, you’ll notice that it doesn’t hurt as much & perhaps those negative emotions have disappeared.

What comes to mind now, also, are the stages that the terminally ill go through when facing imminent death. These are summarized by the acronym “DABDA”: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, & Acceptance. It is this last stage that brings again peace. What we resist persists; what we embrace gradually dissolves.

So how is this relevant to those insecure feelings that hover all over our lives during current times? It’s true we’re threatened. It’s true we could be terrified, angry, sad, pained, or depressed, but we’ll only bend; never break…. Our feelings will eventually change when we distract… So,

“Change the equation:

Pain + accepting = pain;

Pain + resisting = Suffering.

Pain is inevitable; Suffering is optional.” ~ 3Ds

No matter what happens. No matter what we lose. No matter what we face. We can finally choose to resume somewhat normal living despite the pain by remaining engaged. The alternative is to torment ourselves by staying locked in the vicious cycle of negative feelings & resist the idea that things happened.

I’ve seen so many people use their distress to ignite their thriving despite all insecurities. I’ve, also, seen pained people endlessly suffering.

What will be your choice in whatever you face?

Which equation with whatever feeling you have will you choose?

Your Personal Coach

  Dania

Time For Your Mind Gym – How Will You Tailor The New Year (2014)?


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Another year unfolds & a new year prepares to be rolled. How will you tailor it? What shape will you make it? What color will you choose for it?

Such questions & more can make you realize the many powers you have within. Despite everything, you have the power of choice, the power of decision, & the power to select how you can spend your life at every moment, each day, every single month, culminating eventually in years with plenty of – pleasant or not – souvenirs.

If you’re dissatisfied with your current path so far, will you shift gears? Make new resolutions that lead to eventual “high fives” & cheers? Or will you decide on nothing? Defer what you’re truly wanting? Hope that any problem you face just disappears?

You wouldn’t want to end the coming year – in retrospect – disgruntled or with tears? I’m not just preaching you make New Year’s resolutions today for future repairs. Keep reading. The following lines will sound like music to your ears:

If it’s not so obvious to you, please be reminded that: You are special in so many ways; that people around you marvel at your every gaze; that you were doing your best so far to love, to give, to progress despite any fears…

You’ve ventured into the unknown repeatedly & demonstrated heroic acts to transcend hardships frequently. All angels heard you sing your pains. They’ve seen you dance to your joys & gains.

All Earthlings value your presence for these reasons, & all coming seasons, so capitalize on becoming yet another legend in your own special way… if I may say …

Please remember: you remain armored with abilities to stretch some more, to dig into your solid core, & to leave your hallmark wherever you go in the coming years….

Perhaps it’s during the year 2014 that the fable about you will finally be written. Can you start dreaming how you’ll unleash what you keep hidden?

Com’on start your new design. Make the coming year the best year in your life so far…  Twinkle twinkle like a little big star…. I will be cheerleading from afar….

Your Personal Coach & Co-designer

    Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s Your Plan For The Holidays?


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Va Va Vaction is neaaaar!! Yo! Ho! Ho!! Aren’t you excited? Some time to catch your breath. A lot of time to spend with family & friends. Extra time to do something different. That sought after change away from your usual routines….

So how will you use whatever extra time you have on your hands? Any special plans? Go ahead… Interrupt your somewhat mundane long life story with a special mark that stands… What can you arrange doing with or without your fans?

I’m not referring to the usual “lunch it” here, or “dine it” there kind of outings you use as a treat. I’m not even referring to that long vacation you may aspire. I’d like you to consider unsual stuff you don’t normally do. Star gazing, playing with snow, walk in the woods, or throwing frisbee to name a few…. Simple, yet refreshing things you never had the time to before…

There is so much out there you could be leaving inexperienced and unexplored. I wonder what you’ve been postponing. I wonder what you’ve dreamed of doing just for a little while.

Seize the opportunity now & spare yourself those I should’ve… I could’ve…. I must’ves… Such thoughts will attack you in no time. Routines will hit you in the face soon enough. They’re around the corner with their usual stuff…

“Those refreshing unusual little things you don’t always do may just be the inspiration changing your world view” ~3Ds

And don’t we all eventually detest monotony? Your chance is near. In fact it’s here….

The trick is just ask yourself more questions (just like a child). What are you curious about? What would the dreamer in you give as suggestions?

Then plan with a child’s heart! Turn those ideas into “supposed tos” now & start!!

Ah, pleaaaase, may I join…? After you dearest…

Va Va Vaboooom 🙂

Have a merry merry Christmas! 🙂

Your Personal Coach

Dania

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