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Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What Are You Resisting?


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Have you wondered about the nature of what you often resist? These perhaps fall into two kinds: what’s good for you and what’s bad. You can resist specific things, people, and behaviors, or other things that fall in the more abstract.

 Resisting change, temptation, advice, power, beliefs, or new fads can be such notions. All may include both elements that harm you, or lead to your self-promotion. Many times, and if you have the inclination, resisting any of these can entail using a lot of energy coupled with unrelenting maintenance of emotions. It requires a steal-like mental set and persistent action steps to push and never surrender forward motion.

It has been said: “What you resist persists; what you embrace dissolves”. To me, the case neither applies generally, nor does it predominantly exists. It all depends on what you are resisting and what the target involves. There’s great value in accepting what we can’t change. That one is true…. but there’s, also great value in being stubborn and persisting on what’s good for you…

If I were to argue further, wouldn’t you, now, resist stagnating, feeling weak, being disempowered or ridiculed, ignorance, and the kind? Surely if these dominate lead you to having a restless heart and an un-quieted mind….

To resist your own evolution, is to keep yourself in chains. What you need to persist at is your own growth domains. You probably resist, most, the pain that comes with prospective gains. If you ignore the discomfort that comes with changing to the better, only focus on the rewards remains.

“Ironically what brings us great gain can be, at the same time, the source of grave pain.” ~3Ds

Isn’t that why you may resist initiating the move? It’s simple. You’re not focused enough on how you’ll improve. Just boost up your positive emotions; and make sure the negative ones you remove…

The game, hence, becomes rigged in your favor (eh, with a check-mate kind of move…)

Will you, now, get into the groove?

With your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s Your Obsession?


obsessessionWhen you think about obsessions, your immediate reaction is that these are necessarily bad; and predispose anyone to becoming sad. After all, they typically imply unwanted persistent thoughts you cannot easily dismiss; and when they’re very intense you’d think you’re on the verge of going mad.

Obsessions can stem from specific or random fears. Many times, and in typical psychological disorders, obsessions are associated with compulsions (i.e. behaviors) to reduce what’s feared. They put one in an addictive cycle like a hamster on a wheel. On and on the “run” continues with great difficulty to change the steer…

But, not all obsessive thoughts lead you to distress. For instance, think about the falling in love experience and how it puts you in a state of bliss. Think about finding your passion, doing it daily, and how consumed in it you become that you’d never consider the quits.

Such obsessions have a different lure. Not only do you allow these; you perpetuate your state. In a charming way, you’re clinging to something that makes you feel more secure. Perhaps, these dissolve every other fear and alleviate any other uncertainty that could leave you unsure…

It is obsessive thoughts about succeeding that lead, in the end, to highly achieving. It is exactly these kind of thoughts that can transform earlier failure to the “yes I can do it” mode of believing.

“To win your way, you need to be armed with Obsessive beliefs in your ability. Such focus, is your tool to act on every possibility.” ~ 3Ds

If you scan history for major accomplishments, you’ll find that this was the secret behind it all. Each falls at least a hundred times, but obsessively rises again tall.

See? That blind to failure obsession isn’t necessarily bad or evil. Each trial creates a new upheaval…

The obsession to succeed doesn’t take “no” as a response. It persists there till, eventually, it gets its applause… To thrive, think and then do; Think and then do; Think and then do… After all, isn’t that how legends eventually yell that woooohooo!!!? Keep preoccupied with it and, soon enough, people will seek your autograph in queue…

I’ll be standing with them in line too. Till then, my thoughts will remain with you….

Your Personal Coach 

 Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What Have You Become?


what you becomeYou may not notice it, but you carry the “baggage” of all past years in different ways – just like the rest of us. Every choice you take; every move you make is colored by many baggage components. You can be aware of your baggage in few instances, but – most other times – these remain highly unconscious.

The person you are today is a result of your accumulated past when you think about it. The baggage I’m referring to, here, is not necessarily unresolved issues you piled up bit by bit. It is part of what you eventually and slowly become. Off your shoulders, these may be hard to split. You are whatever experiences you continue to permit.

Some people carry a heavier baggage than others. They’d be slow to walk all paths and wonder when one passing fellow saunters. When some exhibit confidence in their destination, those with heavy baggage wander. They don’t know that they need to pause and get rid of those heavier weights along their life journey from time to time. How else can the climb to being a better person be made lighter and in line?

It is a basic need to know that you’re growing, maturing, and evolving. I stress, here, the psychological need that feeds you to succeed into becoming a wiser person today more than ever; in continuously transforming your life to the better; in surpassing hardship, in galloping over obstacles, and in setting worthy endeavors.

“The person you become is a result of what you learn, unlearn, or fail to learn.” ~ 3Ds

It is within your reach to learn new ways of being. Of course you still have to reach.

It is to your advantage to unlearn the negative effects of earlier adversity. Of course you still have to manage future uncertainty.

It is your choice to be a student of life even if you held a hardship PHD degree. Of course no matter how much it educates you, for life, you remain a student of life. Don’t you agree?

By all means, become that improved version you aspire. It’s easy to learn the “how”s of what you desire. For a start, dump any unnecessary baggage, then, start your quest and inquire…

With Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s That Voice In Your Head Like?


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If you know me well, I wouldn’t be surprised if you heard my voice as you read these words, but generally you’re more likely to hear your own voice making the speech. This makes me wonder whether you ever notice your self-talk as you you go about living your days, facing different situations, and how you eventually address each.

That voice in your head is so powerful with astounding effects in case you didn’t know. If you listen carefully, you’ll find it can be harsh and critical, or gentle and encouraging as a general flow. Either way, it can turn out like a depressing or inspiring talk-show. What default option have you set its mode to undergo? Do you know that it is YOU who’s initiated such programming perhaps some time ago?

There’s a difference between a self-talk that goes like this: “YOU IDIOT! YOU’LL NEVER LEARN TO DO THINGS RIGHT!”, or this: “Let’s see, honey, how can you handle this next time about?”… A huge difference… Especially if you knew that words written in capslock are meant to be shout… The impact results in divergent outcomes akin to that produced by parents guiding their child, no doubt…

My challenge for you, today, is to start becoming more observant of that voice in your head. Pay attention to your choice of words, the tone, the pitch, the volume; in general, the “how” things to yourself are said. You can be filling yourself up with compassion, all the time, or with continuous dread….

“That voice in your head may act like a bully debunking your every move, or a gentle critic guiding your every move.” ~ 3Ds

The good news is that this voice can be fully controlled unlike people around you who just can’t direct well their blabber. Even when they go away, you keep listening to yourself all along for that matter; and whatever emotional state you end up in, each time, results from that mental chatter…

Pain, hope, self-esteem, love, or hate are but a few outcomes of that self-talk. It is one of the determinants of every life path you could possibly walk…

You can start changing the course of history each moment with that internal chime. How about we get busy reaching the sublime all the time?

Just for the record: you can always choose to self-cheer like your own personal coach…

With your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – How Do You Compensate?


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If you review the times you wanted something, but didn’t get, you may notice that you tried to, somehow, compensate. Consider, for instance, a failed relationship, a desired post on a job, or in vain attempts on any other pursuit. You looked for a substitute to help cope you tolerate.

The way we compensate, though, can serve us well, or not, if I may say. Some would sublimate to a higher cause, change their target, or figure out a new way. Others would resort to substance abuse, binge in comfort eating, or soothe their frustrated emotions by seeking solitude in a somewhat safe bay.

Have you considered how, earlier, you resorted to compensate? Do you find a pattern that would generally predominate? Or is it that when you scan those incidents well, you find that your style is flexible and between different constructive ways you oscillate?

Have you noticed, at times, how the clock continues ticking or flipping despite your attempts to digest your dashing hopes? Remaining in idle mode won’t change the bad news, and eventually you have to step into the uncertain and navigate new slopes as a better means to cope.

“The question isn’t how do you compensate if you fail; rather how “well” will you compensate? What will you eventually allow to prevail?” ~ 3Ds

It’s like you’re meant to be waging battles all the time; and even initiating new ones. A survivor mode entails that you seriously keep sticking to your guns….

Neve dwell on whether you’ll be defeated. when you’re tired, you can always a rest, just for a little while, then resume whatever you have uncompleted….

And you know what will make a difference next time? It’s pretending that you’re already a champion from the start…. Role play every day the “as if you’re already a winner” kind of part…

Every breath, every move, every step,…. Have a fighter un-subsiding kind of heart….

To compensate right, make the new worthy venture a state of art….

Doesn’t this sounds like a class of Martial Art?

Bowing in awe before your new glorious start, your Personal Coach

Dania

Time for Your “Mind Gym” – How’s Your Balance Sheet Like?


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I’d like to pay a tribute to that little “accountant” in you, today; and I randomly chose this one from long lists. Yes, you may not have noticed that part in you doing all sorts of calculations each time you choose, but that part of you exists. It hides at the corner of your mind; speaking in high and low pitch. In various decision-making it assists.

That little accountant keeps semi-invisible balance sheets issued when there’s a need; and instantly upon request. If you examine all issues that you previously addressed, you’d find that you directly or indirectly weighed pros and cons to find answers for your action-taking quests.

The cost-benefit assessment thought process is rarely an uninvited guest. It is what we do when we’re mostly distressed. Try something different, give up a pursuit, or persist until you attain your goal are but a few dilemma that could have made your mind unrest.

Pick and choose any area in your life: your job, your romantic relationship, your friends, a project you’re working on, or any other feat…. All would not get resolved without resort to that guiding balance sheet. Go on…. Bring it forward from its back-seat. Review the account of each in terms of pleasure versus pain; loss versus gain; compliments versus complaints; latitude versus restraints. What sort of a picture does that accountant paint?

“Knowingly or not, when you assess and decide, your mind runs a balance sheet script. It could be that last well-thought of entry that triggers a 180 degrees flip.” ~3Ds

Don’t forget to include the long term effects. Remember, as well, to consider other human ecological complications and defects. If these are difficult to calculate, use a lump sum as an estimate.

You may need to re-examine and exhaust all “givens” when your balance sheet shows a dilemma par. And if you remain stuck, flip a coin to allow fate to be your guiding star….

After all, and despite some previous erroneous operations, that little accountant in you is gaining expertise by the minute for all balance sheet consultations. It will continue to do all calculations for future situations.

Oh…. and perhaps you need to cross out any fear factor entry because it’s usually loaded with flaws…. It never was, or will be, a motivator to any worthy cause…..

Sending your little accountant a big round of applause,

Your Personal Coach

 Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – Who’s Your Favorite?


 

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I’m contemplating today those “favorite” people we have in our lives and what makes them so. Those closer to our hearts kind of people not necessarily the ones we’d fall in love with, you know… Just those few you randomly meet with at first, develop a connection, and as you know them more, you wouldn’t easily want to let go…. Eventually, you find that a whole meaning on your life they, now, bestow…

Surely you have some in mind; and most certainly, to someone else, you fit the kind. So if we dig for the criteria of inclusion, what could we find? Perhaps some few attractive assets combined…

These special ones speak to you with their kind hearts, listen to what you say with their souls, and are there for you when the need arises. They are those folks who keep in touch without needing much, give you their time and allow for your space, never disappoint you, or fail to embrace you. They are those who offer you only pleasant surprises….

As for you, they’re on your mind more often, you look forward to get-together today or tomorrows, and grow, day in day out, to become invested in their concerns, in their dreams, and in their whole lives with both its joys and sorrows. And sometimes it becomes scary when you feel their pain as they do, and even before you have any clue…

“No one can blame you for having favorite special ones in your life. They’re the ones who best understand and support your strife.” ~ 3Ds

An interesting fact, here, appears: a favorite without you or them disappears. You two, give that favoritism more meaning with your direct and indirect cheers. It is both of you who’d want to hold the balance for all coming years. How else can you gather more timely souvenirs…?

A favorite is like a rare gem type; and to find them requires digging deep. Like diamonds and gold, once found by accident, they’re not to be sold. With us humans, however, such a relationship for keeps is twofold. You do your part, and allow your favorite, in the bond, to be enrolled….

For the coming weeks, I challenge you to move closer to your favorite one.  Make sure you’re heard though… Pitch before you hit the homerun, lovely one 🙂

Your being extraordinarily ravishing is so pronounced today. Are you, by any chance, sitting in the lap of the cloud or the sun? Can you guess who my favorite is, right now, honey bun?

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What Do You Believe In?


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If you consider what you believe in, you’ll find that that your beliefs are varied – no denying. Some beliefs limit your progress in life; while other empowering beliefs guide you to keep striving, to keep thriving, and allow your confidence stunt-flying. Both mainly rely on the past conquered experiences, or whatever you have failed trying.

Then there are those beliefs whose source you cannot easily fathom. They come in the form of just feeling “trusting”, having a hunch,  “gut feeling”,  intuition, or simply having “faith” that’s undying.

Those, too, can come in two types: that “good feeling”; and that “not so good”. You know something beyond you is taking good care of your life course; that things will eventually unfold in line with your wishful source; and that the power of the unseen is right beside you and is backing you up full force. Whether you have the channels open for these, or not is a different story of course.

Those “good feeling” beliefs are quite a blessing, but those “not so good feeling” beliefs pave their way alarming you to stop, to shift gears, or to take caution as to avoid remorse. How many times have you tried hard to hush their voice? How many times have you ignored their persistent banging upon your inner psychic doors?

“The reason we choose what we believe in is based largely on our needs. This in turn depends on what your psyche feeds and repeats.” ~3Ds

You hold on onto selected beliefs by choice. All serve a purpose the end of which is not necessarily filled with rejoice. They hum loud and low orchestrating your life show…

Inspired, discouraged, stuck behind bars, or having only motivated thought, your beliefs push you, or pull you to do, or do not. Those which win are those you eventually pay attention to a lot….

And you may get tempted to ignore the screaming of your “gut feeling” and still choose to believe what may not be true, but in the end the truth prevails; and you’ll know that you knew more than you think you knew…. Give it time sunshine; don’t rush it through…

I have hunch you’ve read this all the way through (hehehe 🙂  ok, it’s more than a hunch) :). And by the way, having a bad hunch doesn’t necessarily become true that much…

Having faith always in your choices and world view…

Your Personal Coach

          Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s Your Best Disguise?


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“Remove that mask you’re wearing gently & let me explore your real face for a while!!” That would be a scary statement that could freak anyone out (especially if there were no mask to start with). Many would rather remain disguised; & removing the mask may be a horrendous task. It’s too much to ask….

Let’s be frank: don’t we all, from time to time, wear a mask to hide our true state, to save face, to be accepted, or be embraced? But you’d probably hate it when you suspect the pretense some people assume. And when you discover what they’re hiding, you’re set into rage & fume.

You wouldn’t easily forgive their making you feel like a fool & mistake your kind-heart with someone who drools. “Caution” becomes your new rule; & vigilance with suspected multi-faced people becomes your new tool. You learn, the hard way, what you never did in school…

With repeated unwelcome experiences, you become talented at reading people well & that could be both a curse & a blessing. Discovering others’ malicious intentions, lo and behold, can be all too distressing; & when frequent enough, it renders you all too paranoid & fussing…

We justify our own disguise & condemn it when we detect it in others. Truth is, such self-serving acts are adaptive forms that can bring one both: haters & lovers. And once you learn to dig for the “good” in the “bad”, any precipitating hurt inflicted by others slowly recovers…

Everyone has good reasons to slip into a disguise. At least, the “good” is what rests before their eyes; not what you prefer or prize. Love or hate, eventually, will rule what you hold for any relationship as it matures & as you become all too wise.

In the end, “Of all the lies I hear, of the entire disguise I see, I find those reflecting one’s life being trouble-free most appealing.” ~ 3Ds

 It’s a sign of strength never to reflect your problems on those you meet; & that nasty disguise of those who cheat reflects that they’re only weak … so to speak… Which mask do you wear each week?

Kind moves Move Mountains … so do kind thoughts & intentions…

Now push…. in the right direction….

With multifaceted Love,

Your Personal Coach

  Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s Your Handy Conviction?


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You know how it’s like to be so stubborn in holding on to specific beliefs that guide much of what you do, or feel as you navigate your future direction? Those handy (or not) beliefs are so ingrained that you don’t question their validity. You leave them to influence your every move, your every thought, or your every upcoming decision.

These are what we call convictions. They’re pretty much like faith – in their positive implications – so blind to any alternative negative explanations. And they could really be limiting – in their negative sense – to how well you could thrive, prosper, be happy, or make constructive future predictions.

Those handy (or not) mental influences & internal feelings can be life changing for better, or for worse. They can nourish you like a nurse, or demolish you like a curse. Have you reflected on which in your mind & heart do you repeatedly rehearse?

Not so handy convictions can send you to gloom & doom. They keep you immobile like a baby forever staying in your mother’s womb. They’re like the tools you use to dig a grave for your dreams & lock them for good in a rotten tomb.

Handier convictions stretch your potentials deeper, wider, & higher. That much optimistic sense of total confidence that you can surmount all obstacles like a diligent fighter; To lighten up dark days & make them brighter; To dump off heavy burdens weighing you down & render them lighter…

Those convictions precede all euphoria, all achievements, & all breakthrough. They never come on their own in passing but are thoughts & feelings you habituate your mind & heart to attach to ….

“That voice in your head… That feeling in your heart … can be a handy or not conviction. Your default diction will surely influence your future prediction.” ~ 3Ds

Yes, do believe everything will be alright! Yes, be determined to transcend any plight! Yes, take “happiness” your destination on any trip or flight!!

Now …. Repeat after me: “Mountains will be the least I move…”

How about that for a new handy conviction? 🙂

Your Personal Coach

Dania

PS. I’ll be the first keynote speaker in Toastmasters Lebanon’s Annual Convention at AUB next Saturday march 22 starting at 9:30am. My topic will be “Mission Possible” which empowers attendees to face their fears. You can find tickets at librairie Antoine or follow this link: http://www.antoineticketing.com/Event_Other_Face_it_Ace_it__Toastmasters_Lebanon_1699

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