Time For Your “Mind Gym” – How Well Have You Fulfilled Last Year’s Self-Promises?


new year wishes

It gives me the chills when I consider that this is my last post for this year. Oh boy, time flew by real fast; and to realize that there are things pending still on my 2014 to-do-list makes me almost shed a tear. How did that happen when I know and practice what I preach about principals of high productivity? How is it possible to be so clear about my yearly resolutions and still fail to perform despite my relentless activity?

At this moment in time, I empathize with myself just like I do with my clients. I certainly was not “wasting” time. That’s more like pseudo-science. Urgent situations came up and necessitated my dealing with rising tension. New opportunities surfaced and required my attention. Some projects were too overwhelming, so I deferred some and put others to suspension.

No, I wasn’t slacking off during the past year. I was, rather, engaged in re-shuffling my priorities based on situational pressing demands. At different times, I found myself exploring novel life territories and adapting to unknown lands.

Yes, I did my best to accommodate without totally losing focus of my principal mission. I truly did maintain an eye on my guiding life vision. Yearly new resolutions are ideal when coupled with a clear plan to accomplish and move toward; and it’s perfectly okay to continuously consider their feasibility, be flexible with some, forget about others, and add a few new with greater reward. Can you similarly assess how much on that to-do-list you’ve scored?

My earlier plans were not meant to be engraved in stone. We have to keep in mind that a martyr cannot do much in a combat zone. It’s like we’re in a battle field out there and we need to remain vigilant to any upcoming rival; and in the end, allow no defeat to be ever final. Adjust the sails when the wind blows; slow down the wheels upon surfing the slopes; and fly higher when the sky is clear and before it, again, heavily snows.

At the verge of a new year, I cannot but give thanks and acknowledgement to how far I have, till now, reached. I would like to silence my inner critic for a while and resist the temptation to self-reprimand. These only leave me painfully impeached.

In my last note for this year, I am calling your attention to differentiate between excuses you may have for leaving things undone and truly exploring reasons for things you haven’t begun. I, hereby, call on you to focus NOT on the losses of the past year, but on all the gains you’ve gradually acquired my dear…

Next year will similarly be like a game of hide and seek. The good and the bad things will remain to bubble and squeak. And aren’t those what flavor life with its special mystique?

Wishing you a new year filled with earned success and best of fortune…

Your Personal Coach (who favors forward motion)

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – How Heavy is Your Emotional Baggage?


baggage

How old are you? Better phrased: how “young”, still, are you? Perhaps as you revisit the number of years that so far elapsed, the thought spontaneously scans phases in your life you passed through. Each chapter in your journey piled up a different sort of baggage when you take on a rear view.

Have you, at any point, taken the time to examine that? Are you aware of the extent that baggage affects your life today, how you deal with others, and what you arrived at? Some of us enjoy self-reflection and habitually monitor ourselves attempting to fine tune and understand. Others take it a step further and hire another brain to dig deeper and give them a hand.

In my line of work, I’ve seen many face their worst daemons courageously, while others went into such territories with much reluctance painfully. Others remain hiding themselves behind walls of shame and make believe that their baggage is invisible to the eyes. What do they know about harmful disguise? What do they know about volcanoes and their erupting with lava as they rise?

To become target of someone else’s baggage is certainly terrible and perhaps inevitable at different times. You’re lucky if you can withdraw yourself from their lives as soon as you detect over-flowing negative baggage signs. If you don’t, you’ll soon realize how chained you’re becoming as you operate within gloomy relational confines. To have your way out, by then, can be really difficult sometimes.

But what if that emotional baggage is all yours and you keep noticing something isn’t just right? To know if you’re carrying a heavy load, just ask yourself: Are you being paranoid and suspecting? Do you repeatedly project your own insecurities onto others and assume it is them who are suffering? Do new people you meet keep reminding you of past hurtful ones? Are you avoiding relational commitments and are building walls against anyone who comes?

Such questions point toward issues, if any, that remain unresolved. You can look at these with a blind eye, turn to them the deaf ear, or wait for them to get gradually dissolved. Still, they have their own days during which they creep up in your life in multiple ways and at every passing phase.

“You may be victim of others’ emotional baggage at some point, but there’s no running away from your own. The longer you postpone facing these, the more, under your skin they’ll moan.” ~ 3Ds

That baggage anyone carries can be rendered much lighter once explored. You need to dig deep for buried emotions, discover what meaning you gave hurtful past incidents, and then reinvent a new version of yourself that you can gradually move toward.

Surely everyone has baggage, but it’s not your responsibility to manage others’ crown of thorns. You can only open your own can of worms, let all out, and be ready to face any ensuing storms. There’s got to be some labor before your life balanced and transforms. That’s the only way to make yourself better, or would you rather remain bitter?

It really is a matter of perception and how your brain searches for threats and automatically screams. Need another pair of eyes to help you see through that existing filter you have on your life screen?

I’ve walked in your shoes daily so far; and I’ll be ready when you are 🙂

Your Counselor (this time) & Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – How Do You Use Your Imagination?


 

visualize

Are you aware of how you use your imagination? Have you unwrapped, yet, your gift of visualization? This is just a reminder of a powerful tool many misuse or forget to use. Most negative states are partly maintained through mentally replaying horrible scenes. Most fears are retained through imagining scary predictions of the unforeseen.

But what if we alter the contents of those pictures or movie displayed on our internal mental screen? How would it feel like if we were to imagine better outcomes and unleash the power of our inner creativity machine? All limitations, obstacles, and unmet needs were always the inspiration for creative ways to survive, to thrive, and to fulfill certain dreams.

Most Olympic athletes relied on visualization to create successful moves before performance so that winning is granted faster. Arnold Schwarzenegger imagined, since childhood, his becoming Mr. Universe and eventually becoming an actor. Walt Disney, similarly, used what he called “imagineering” to create his entertainment empire gradually after.

And if we really think about it, how do you explain our eventually enjoying the TV, the radio, or phone calls to a remote location? Someone somewhere used their imagination till they actualized its manifestation. The end result was the luring initial temptation.

Ideas of all major inventions did not remain in one’s brain hiding as a seed. They were nourished with active attempts to fulfill specific needs. Trial and error initiatives to make things happen are part of the process till one succeeds. One tool mostly used from inception till the end is creating images of how any restriction one ought to transcend.

To start with, give it some thought as to how you can be happier. “There’s a lot of power in simply imagining a better life filled with bliss. Many often miss to visualize exactly just “how” to effect this.” ~3Ds

Your mind cannot differentiate between what’s imagined and what’s real. It is no secret that visualization automatically changes how you feel…

You can reinvent your future, relax your body, energize it, or imagine succeeding on any interesting goal.

Use your creative imagination as your positive outcome visual control…

With or without Your Personal Coach

Dania

PS. You can watch me demonstrating “Guided Visualization” as a stress-busting tool live on LBC here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8Iz3Ry2EBQ&list=UUOQcFEEskw8OGYvA4FA89rA

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – How Optimistic Are you?


optimism

What do you see if you were given the transparent water glass test (with half of it water)? Would you see the glass as half full, or half empty? Half filled with water and half filled with air? Would you suggest that the glass is twice as big as it should be? Or is it that you express being grateful you have a glass to start with and dismiss appraise? Are you at all a realist who describes it both ways?

To many psychologists, you’re said to be more of an optimist, or a pessimist depending on your answer for such a pop quiz. I wonder what your first spontaneous response is. Perhaps, at different moments, your mood will color what you say, but in general, we can train ourselves to have a default mode in responding to circumstances in certain ways. To be an optimist, you need to practice it, so they say.

At times, it requires tremendous effort to remain optimistic when tough times extend, don’t you think? Even the toughest people have their weak moments during which positivity wouldn’t easily blend with the negativity to dilute it, or even make it shrink. Unless you’re well trained, “tolerance” levels exert their toll and play a negative role on your soul.

At other times, when one forces optimism in all situations despite all signs, this can lead to faulty expectations and eventual aggravation. Surely optimistic people lead a happier healthier life with more solid resilience foundation; yet, to take it too far, and deny that “#%*^” is happening now, or can happen in the future is a misleading temptation.

I am not a pessimist, and contrary to what many think, neither am I a 100% optimist. I am a realist with a holistic view on matters who assesses both sides, but who eventually focuses on the upside. I can’t easily claim horrific matters don’t exist, but I focus on better outcomes as my guide. Realistic optimism remains my preferred ride…

“It is no use to deny it when things go all too crappy. Sit with it and understand it. Process it and embrace it. Get real; then do all you can to make yourself happy.” ~ 3Ds

Rather than sinking in the pile of “#%*^”, you need to seek a better view. Re-arrange the pile and stand on it to get yourself mounted. Realistic expectations and thoughtful consideration are needed to be more grounded. It is the only means to make disappointments less compounded.

Life is much more complicated than that simple glass of water test. And guess what? So are you if the contrary you try to attest. To fight gloom and doom with optimism will remain your contest.

Before I put my case to rest, I’d like you to fill that glass FULLY with water yourself and rise… Hold it high in the air, and throw a toast for all of us: Cheers for the best…

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What Do You Doubt?


faithI have no doubt that most people have a variety of doubts; and these don’t come about haphazardly. We doubt ourselves, our capabilities, other people, and future experiences so rapidly. Often times, a discouraging past acts like the fuel to mistrust in what’s coming; and thoughts of faith aren’t there within us so naturally.

To live with no doubts can lead to grave disappointments especially if those involved things you cannot fully control. I refer here to things surrounding you; not those residing at the core of your heart and soul. To believe totally in others – as you do in yourself – would be like digging in a graveyard for your high expectations a deep hole.

To live with excessive doubts creates a hindrance; and if these doubts revolved around your strengths, they strip you of any potential brilliance. Excessive doubts in people lead you to becoming paranoid and eventually isolation. And if these doubts rotated around life situations, they lead you to a state of “paralysis by analysis” and eventually stagnation.

Some doubt is necessary for a reality check. You’re not expected to remain blinded to what’s real, to prior evidence, and to how things made you or still make you feel. A big picture kind of approach includes probable nuisances; and you may resolve to stay focused on better outcomes as the ideal.

I’m advocating here some sort of balance and for you to be aware of your doubt levels with one exception. At all times…. by all means… doubt your “fears” especially those about your hopeful resurrection. These fears about your abilities to achieve, to reach higher, and to be the ideal you dream are all mere deception.

“Always decorate your thoughts around your potentials with faith and compassion. These remain the trendiest and never go out of fashion.” ~ 3DS

Next time you hear yourself saying: “What if I fail?” or “What if I can’t pull it through? And statements like that, please know that these limit what you really can do….Turn the deaf ear to any emerging fear… It’s crazy how loud the cheerleading music gets once you ignore those kinds of doubts dear…

Try this: Say “I’m unstoppable!” with a loud cheer… Feels good, ha? Soon enough you run out of things to worry about or doubt… Ok, now Jump, fly, or shoot the spear… You’ll love it when you’ve mastered it!

Selfie With Your Personal Coach?

Dania

Time for Your “Mind Gym” – What Are Your Rituals?


rituals

 

When people consider the word “routine”, they’re often alarmed as if that means spending mostly boring times. The safety of routines is attractive to many, but as a whole and to most people, a routine life weakens one’s drive, kills their spirit, and keeps one confined.

There’s a difference between “routines” and “rituals” if we consider our daily living. While routines are certain acts performed automatically without much thought or intent, rituals differ in purpose, in our attitude towards them, and what they end up giving. In our minds, rituals get us prepared; and the time put forth carrying them out is considered well-spent.

If you scan the biographies of famous leaders, artists, and thinkers, you’d notice their adopting specific rituals to maximize their productivity. Ernest Hemingway rose at dawn; Tchaikovsky walked every day for 2 hours without exception; Salvador Dali was known for his very brief power-naps; Winston Churchill would wake up at 7:30m and stay in bed till 11:00am reading newspapers and dictating to his secretaries; and the list goes on…

Many more genius level creative people who became historical peak performance figures tailored their lives around rituals that kept them rising. They structure their days, wire up their minds, and mobilize their bodies to keep thriving. They don’t wait for events to happen, or for inspiration to come. They’re actively seeking space for creativity triggers and know exactly what they need to refrain from.

Any high achievement and drive gets kicked off by various rituals that serve one well. I wonder if you’ve created your own set of rituals and whether you armed yourself with that kind of magic spell.

“Different strokes for different folks direct how well time is spent. There are routine acts that do nothing but pass time; and there are rituals that serve a higher intent.” ~ 3Ds

Are your thoughts gathered around time killers or mere gap fillers? Or are you more aware of constructive time use that serves the majority of your life pillars?

Are you sucked up in mundane routines? Or have you intently created rituals for self-care and for fulfilling your dreams?

Yah! Just few questions to get you to raise your standards if you haven’t set them high enough….

Gotta run now… Besides issuing this post, my Sunday is rich with other rituals and stuff…

Ciao 🙂

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s Your Happiness Thermostat Like?


Happiness

 

If you ask people around you about happiness, you’ll find it’s everybody’s main pursuit; and you may get responses that change day by day. When I become “this”, I’ll be content, they say. When I have “that”, life will be most ecstatic, they convey. People search for it through any path… through any way….

Then when “this” or “that” are reached, happiness will, in fact, be achieved; yet, to one’s dismay, being happy upon any accomplishment doesn’t last. Graduation, promotion, marriage, or even having the first child naturally stir up feelings that life is a blast. To our chagrin, the good feelings fade relatively fast. Even winning the lottery, with time, becomes a matter of fact.

If you scan your life course well, you may notice that happy feelings always faced interruption. A host of uninvited emotional guests can diligently work on happiness reduction. Surrounding circumstances may have their weird way of introducing unpleasant surprises and distractions.

I don’t mean to sound discouraging and make you doubt. I’m just trying to be real and aim at understanding life inside out. Happiness is just one feeling among some thousand other ones difficult to count. Not only is it contagious, it’s a temporary state; and the absence of misery by no means can ensure opening its floodgate.

“Our emotional states keep sliding for better or for worse. True strength lies in our ability to fast-forward negative emotions and the good ones to nourish and nurse” ~ 3Ds

Perhaps you’re often aware of your happiness thermostat, but simply forgot your power in gliding back and forth that continuum. In tough times, you can just throw yourself back into an energizing happy memory to regain equilibrium…

To remain forever happy amidst life’s ebbs and flows may just be a misconception, but guess what? We have a built in mechanism that strives to get those good feelings back despite some delay and without exception. All you have to do is speed it up with deliberate intention…

I’ll tell you another secret: do you know what’s better than just being happy and glad? It’s experiencing happiness after being sad. So you see? Being sad isn’t at all that bad….

One last thing: William Pharrell’s “Happy” song is only a press of a button away. Care to dance?

With Your Personal Coach

Dania

 

 

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