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Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s That Voice In Your Head Like?


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If you know me well, I wouldn’t be surprised if you heard my voice as you read these words, but generally you’re more likely to hear your own voice making the speech. This makes me wonder whether you ever notice your self-talk as you you go about living your days, facing different situations, and how you eventually address each.

That voice in your head is so powerful with astounding effects in case you didn’t know. If you listen carefully, you’ll find it can be harsh and critical, or gentle and encouraging as a general flow. Either way, it can turn out like a depressing or inspiring talk-show. What default option have you set its mode to undergo? Do you know that it is YOU who’s initiated such programming perhaps some time ago?

There’s a difference between a self-talk that goes like this: “YOU IDIOT! YOU’LL NEVER LEARN TO DO THINGS RIGHT!”, or this: “Let’s see, honey, how can you handle this next time about?”… A huge difference… Especially if you knew that words written in capslock are meant to be shout… The impact results in divergent outcomes akin to that produced by parents guiding their child, no doubt…

My challenge for you, today, is to start becoming more observant of that voice in your head. Pay attention to your choice of words, the tone, the pitch, the volume; in general, the “how” things to yourself are said. You can be filling yourself up with compassion, all the time, or with continuous dread….

“That voice in your head may act like a bully debunking your every move, or a gentle critic guiding your every move.” ~ 3Ds

The good news is that this voice can be fully controlled unlike people around you who just can’t direct well their blabber. Even when they go away, you keep listening to yourself all along for that matter; and whatever emotional state you end up in, each time, results from that mental chatter…

Pain, hope, self-esteem, love, or hate are but a few outcomes of that self-talk. It is one of the determinants of every life path you could possibly walk…

You can start changing the course of history each moment with that internal chime. How about we get busy reaching the sublime all the time?

Just for the record: you can always choose to self-cheer like your own personal coach…

With your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – How Do You Compensate?


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If you review the times you wanted something, but didn’t get, you may notice that you tried to, somehow, compensate. Consider, for instance, a failed relationship, a desired post on a job, or in vain attempts on any other pursuit. You looked for a substitute to help cope you tolerate.

The way we compensate, though, can serve us well, or not, if I may say. Some would sublimate to a higher cause, change their target, or figure out a new way. Others would resort to substance abuse, binge in comfort eating, or soothe their frustrated emotions by seeking solitude in a somewhat safe bay.

Have you considered how, earlier, you resorted to compensate? Do you find a pattern that would generally predominate? Or is it that when you scan those incidents well, you find that your style is flexible and between different constructive ways you oscillate?

Have you noticed, at times, how the clock continues ticking or flipping despite your attempts to digest your dashing hopes? Remaining in idle mode won’t change the bad news, and eventually you have to step into the uncertain and navigate new slopes as a better means to cope.

“The question isn’t how do you compensate if you fail; rather how “well” will you compensate? What will you eventually allow to prevail?” ~ 3Ds

It’s like you’re meant to be waging battles all the time; and even initiating new ones. A survivor mode entails that you seriously keep sticking to your guns….

Neve dwell on whether you’ll be defeated. when you’re tired, you can always a rest, just for a little while, then resume whatever you have uncompleted….

And you know what will make a difference next time? It’s pretending that you’re already a champion from the start…. Role play every day the “as if you’re already a winner” kind of part…

Every breath, every move, every step,…. Have a fighter un-subsiding kind of heart….

To compensate right, make the new worthy venture a state of art….

Doesn’t this sounds like a class of Martial Art?

Bowing in awe before your new glorious start, your Personal Coach

Dania

Time for Your “Mind Gym” – How’s Your Balance Sheet Like?


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I’d like to pay a tribute to that little “accountant” in you, today; and I randomly chose this one from long lists. Yes, you may not have noticed that part in you doing all sorts of calculations each time you choose, but that part of you exists. It hides at the corner of your mind; speaking in high and low pitch. In various decision-making it assists.

That little accountant keeps semi-invisible balance sheets issued when there’s a need; and instantly upon request. If you examine all issues that you previously addressed, you’d find that you directly or indirectly weighed pros and cons to find answers for your action-taking quests.

The cost-benefit assessment thought process is rarely an uninvited guest. It is what we do when we’re mostly distressed. Try something different, give up a pursuit, or persist until you attain your goal are but a few dilemma that could have made your mind unrest.

Pick and choose any area in your life: your job, your romantic relationship, your friends, a project you’re working on, or any other feat…. All would not get resolved without resort to that guiding balance sheet. Go on…. Bring it forward from its back-seat. Review the account of each in terms of pleasure versus pain; loss versus gain; compliments versus complaints; latitude versus restraints. What sort of a picture does that accountant paint?

“Knowingly or not, when you assess and decide, your mind runs a balance sheet script. It could be that last well-thought of entry that triggers a 180 degrees flip.” ~3Ds

Don’t forget to include the long term effects. Remember, as well, to consider other human ecological complications and defects. If these are difficult to calculate, use a lump sum as an estimate.

You may need to re-examine and exhaust all “givens” when your balance sheet shows a dilemma par. And if you remain stuck, flip a coin to allow fate to be your guiding star….

After all, and despite some previous erroneous operations, that little accountant in you is gaining expertise by the minute for all balance sheet consultations. It will continue to do all calculations for future situations.

Oh…. and perhaps you need to cross out any fear factor entry because it’s usually loaded with flaws…. It never was, or will be, a motivator to any worthy cause…..

Sending your little accountant a big round of applause,

Your Personal Coach

 Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – Who’s Your Favorite?


 

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I’m contemplating today those “favorite” people we have in our lives and what makes them so. Those closer to our hearts kind of people not necessarily the ones we’d fall in love with, you know… Just those few you randomly meet with at first, develop a connection, and as you know them more, you wouldn’t easily want to let go…. Eventually, you find that a whole meaning on your life they, now, bestow…

Surely you have some in mind; and most certainly, to someone else, you fit the kind. So if we dig for the criteria of inclusion, what could we find? Perhaps some few attractive assets combined…

These special ones speak to you with their kind hearts, listen to what you say with their souls, and are there for you when the need arises. They are those folks who keep in touch without needing much, give you their time and allow for your space, never disappoint you, or fail to embrace you. They are those who offer you only pleasant surprises….

As for you, they’re on your mind more often, you look forward to get-together today or tomorrows, and grow, day in day out, to become invested in their concerns, in their dreams, and in their whole lives with both its joys and sorrows. And sometimes it becomes scary when you feel their pain as they do, and even before you have any clue…

“No one can blame you for having favorite special ones in your life. They’re the ones who best understand and support your strife.” ~ 3Ds

An interesting fact, here, appears: a favorite without you or them disappears. You two, give that favoritism more meaning with your direct and indirect cheers. It is both of you who’d want to hold the balance for all coming years. How else can you gather more timely souvenirs…?

A favorite is like a rare gem type; and to find them requires digging deep. Like diamonds and gold, once found by accident, they’re not to be sold. With us humans, however, such a relationship for keeps is twofold. You do your part, and allow your favorite, in the bond, to be enrolled….

For the coming weeks, I challenge you to move closer to your favorite one.  Make sure you’re heard though… Pitch before you hit the homerun, lovely one 🙂

Your being extraordinarily ravishing is so pronounced today. Are you, by any chance, sitting in the lap of the cloud or the sun? Can you guess who my favorite is, right now, honey bun?

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What Do You Believe In?


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If you consider what you believe in, you’ll find that that your beliefs are varied – no denying. Some beliefs limit your progress in life; while other empowering beliefs guide you to keep striving, to keep thriving, and allow your confidence stunt-flying. Both mainly rely on the past conquered experiences, or whatever you have failed trying.

Then there are those beliefs whose source you cannot easily fathom. They come in the form of just feeling “trusting”, having a hunch,  “gut feeling”,  intuition, or simply having “faith” that’s undying.

Those, too, can come in two types: that “good feeling”; and that “not so good”. You know something beyond you is taking good care of your life course; that things will eventually unfold in line with your wishful source; and that the power of the unseen is right beside you and is backing you up full force. Whether you have the channels open for these, or not is a different story of course.

Those “good feeling” beliefs are quite a blessing, but those “not so good feeling” beliefs pave their way alarming you to stop, to shift gears, or to take caution as to avoid remorse. How many times have you tried hard to hush their voice? How many times have you ignored their persistent banging upon your inner psychic doors?

“The reason we choose what we believe in is based largely on our needs. This in turn depends on what your psyche feeds and repeats.” ~3Ds

You hold on onto selected beliefs by choice. All serve a purpose the end of which is not necessarily filled with rejoice. They hum loud and low orchestrating your life show…

Inspired, discouraged, stuck behind bars, or having only motivated thought, your beliefs push you, or pull you to do, or do not. Those which win are those you eventually pay attention to a lot….

And you may get tempted to ignore the screaming of your “gut feeling” and still choose to believe what may not be true, but in the end the truth prevails; and you’ll know that you knew more than you think you knew…. Give it time sunshine; don’t rush it through…

I have hunch you’ve read this all the way through (hehehe 🙂  ok, it’s more than a hunch) :). And by the way, having a bad hunch doesn’t necessarily become true that much…

Having faith always in your choices and world view…

Your Personal Coach

          Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s Your Best Disguise?


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“Remove that mask you’re wearing gently & let me explore your real face for a while!!” That would be a scary statement that could freak anyone out (especially if there were no mask to start with). Many would rather remain disguised; & removing the mask may be a horrendous task. It’s too much to ask….

Let’s be frank: don’t we all, from time to time, wear a mask to hide our true state, to save face, to be accepted, or be embraced? But you’d probably hate it when you suspect the pretense some people assume. And when you discover what they’re hiding, you’re set into rage & fume.

You wouldn’t easily forgive their making you feel like a fool & mistake your kind-heart with someone who drools. “Caution” becomes your new rule; & vigilance with suspected multi-faced people becomes your new tool. You learn, the hard way, what you never did in school…

With repeated unwelcome experiences, you become talented at reading people well & that could be both a curse & a blessing. Discovering others’ malicious intentions, lo and behold, can be all too distressing; & when frequent enough, it renders you all too paranoid & fussing…

We justify our own disguise & condemn it when we detect it in others. Truth is, such self-serving acts are adaptive forms that can bring one both: haters & lovers. And once you learn to dig for the “good” in the “bad”, any precipitating hurt inflicted by others slowly recovers…

Everyone has good reasons to slip into a disguise. At least, the “good” is what rests before their eyes; not what you prefer or prize. Love or hate, eventually, will rule what you hold for any relationship as it matures & as you become all too wise.

In the end, “Of all the lies I hear, of the entire disguise I see, I find those reflecting one’s life being trouble-free most appealing.” ~ 3Ds

 It’s a sign of strength never to reflect your problems on those you meet; & that nasty disguise of those who cheat reflects that they’re only weak … so to speak… Which mask do you wear each week?

Kind moves Move Mountains … so do kind thoughts & intentions…

Now push…. in the right direction….

With multifaceted Love,

Your Personal Coach

  Dania

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s Your Handy Conviction?


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You know how it’s like to be so stubborn in holding on to specific beliefs that guide much of what you do, or feel as you navigate your future direction? Those handy (or not) beliefs are so ingrained that you don’t question their validity. You leave them to influence your every move, your every thought, or your every upcoming decision.

These are what we call convictions. They’re pretty much like faith – in their positive implications – so blind to any alternative negative explanations. And they could really be limiting – in their negative sense – to how well you could thrive, prosper, be happy, or make constructive future predictions.

Those handy (or not) mental influences & internal feelings can be life changing for better, or for worse. They can nourish you like a nurse, or demolish you like a curse. Have you reflected on which in your mind & heart do you repeatedly rehearse?

Not so handy convictions can send you to gloom & doom. They keep you immobile like a baby forever staying in your mother’s womb. They’re like the tools you use to dig a grave for your dreams & lock them for good in a rotten tomb.

Handier convictions stretch your potentials deeper, wider, & higher. That much optimistic sense of total confidence that you can surmount all obstacles like a diligent fighter; To lighten up dark days & make them brighter; To dump off heavy burdens weighing you down & render them lighter…

Those convictions precede all euphoria, all achievements, & all breakthrough. They never come on their own in passing but are thoughts & feelings you habituate your mind & heart to attach to ….

“That voice in your head… That feeling in your heart … can be a handy or not conviction. Your default diction will surely influence your future prediction.” ~ 3Ds

Yes, do believe everything will be alright! Yes, be determined to transcend any plight! Yes, take “happiness” your destination on any trip or flight!!

Now …. Repeat after me: “Mountains will be the least I move…”

How about that for a new handy conviction? 🙂

Your Personal Coach

Dania

PS. I’ll be the first keynote speaker in Toastmasters Lebanon’s Annual Convention at AUB next Saturday march 22 starting at 9:30am. My topic will be “Mission Possible” which empowers attendees to face their fears. You can find tickets at librairie Antoine or follow this link: http://www.antoineticketing.com/Event_Other_Face_it_Ace_it__Toastmasters_Lebanon_1699

Time For Your Mind Gym – Who’s Your Best connection?


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You probably have too many connections, but there are mainly a few you bond really well with & can’t tolerate living without. You’re more attracted to them because they’re harmonious with your core thoughts & values in & out. With these special connections you’re more inclined to hang out; You share your stories & concerns; & with them, your dreams are more likely to come about.

These special connection, with time, strengthen & become your preference. In your circle of friends, other people become located farther away & more remote as a reference. Let’s be real, those closer connections are more prone to make a positive difference. They understand you without your uttering any word or sentence.

Right in the middle of these few, there’s YOU. The shortest distance from any other connection – anywhere in view. The easiest to reach; The best there is to teach; The only person, for sure, you’re forever glued to. Among all other connections, YOU’re the one you’re closest to; Perhaps the only one available, sometimes, to turn to.

I say this because so many times, even those closest to your heart will be so busy, at many points, with their own lives. You reach out & no one arrives. And when you’re all alone & do feel lonely, you’ve got to have a mechanism to survive. Being left on your own to deal with your demons could scare like hell anyone alive.

“One of life’s blessings is having close connections. The best to select & nourish always is our own inner reflection.” ~ 3Ds

It’s true others can encourage & validate your perceptions; yet, the sources of truth are found through your own introspections.

Seize those moments of solitude, always, to gravitate within, befriend that miracle inside, & understand your complexion.

As you do that, allow that center to be filled with magnet-like affection. Then you can radiate back to that closest selection.

In your inner circle (I hope) of closest connections,

I remain,

Your Personal Coach (planting insights & direction)

Dania

PS. I’ll be the guest speaker in the relationships & expectations seminar “Adam & Leave” with Dr. Hady Safa on March 13 at 6:30pm in Babel Theater Hamra. You can know more details & how to book your seat here: http://www.strides-ddd.com/?page=latest-events

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What Makes You Jealous?


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Com’on don’t deny it… You’re jealous!! I’m not referring to the romantic type here & it doesn’t have to be that kind carrying all sorts of negative connotations! You’re unknowingly comparing yourself with others most times & get in the state upon your own negative evaluation.

It can stir you to raise your standards when you say; “I want to be exactly that!” You observe & then imitate; keep at it till you’re there; & then you get to celebrate. But what happens if those feelings you incubate? & no action, to be there, you demonstrate?

This is when the sum of negative feelings defining jealousy compound: fear, resentment, insecurity, & the like… in the heart, these go round & round. They distort the thinking, leave one bitter, & immerse one deep down in the ground.

I can’t be “this”; I won’t have “that”; Someone else is taking what I attempt at…. Thoughts like these & more can keep one victim of creepy anticipations. Why fret & fuss when it’s up to you to become better not bitter with frustrations? Why envy others for what they have when you can focus on your own good foundations?

“Jealousy can either push you to outperform what you used to be, or keep you flaming & boiling in one place to high degrees.” ~ 3Ds

And we both know that there is so much brilliance in your core; That being different doesn’t necessarily have to make you sore; That you can always do more, be more, & spread your wings beyond any shore…

Perhaps you don’t focus much on the fact that you’re so loved; That many times people, here, look at YOU & say “I wished I were that!”. Perhaps you don’t know that all angel near or far are fascinated by your grace; & that in your trace, they’re in a non-stop race…

If only you know there is no real good reason to be jealous just now. Sure, there’s always room to grow & improve, but as you are, in current times, you illicit more than a “wow”!!

Aiming always to lift up your mood, I bow before your greatness in awe… 🙂

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Categories: Coaching, Growth, jealousy

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – How Do You Show Your Love?


 

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Valentine’s day is near (Hip Hip Horraaaah!!!). Time to show your “Love” how much you truly loooove them – as per current marketing trend. That day, though, may not be the best of days for many on the receiving end. For all I know, it’s the “gloom & doom” day when they get to feel so unloved, or all positive expectations suspend 😦

To those “single”, Valentine’s day is freakin scary. There’s no partner to give them that special attention. Not that day; not any other day. Alone with their own shadow they’re left to dance & sway.

As for those who do have a partner, they’re lucky to have one; hence, wait for that open expression that “you’re, in fact, the one”. But what if it doesn’t come? Aaaah…. in waiting, it makes them feel so dumb…

On a more positive note, if you’re on the giving end, & you always forgot to be expressive before, perhaps that day is a perfect reminder to stop being such a bore & delay showing your care no more. It really is no chore. On the contrary, it makes your relationship soar….

My question is: do you really need a special day to express how much you love & care? Why not do it every day each time choosing a different way? It’s like the fuel that keeps others going. It’s the one thing that you should never hesitate showing.

“Love is not just an emotion, an expression, or total devotion. It’s a series of acts ruthlessly kept in motion” ~ 3Ds

When acts of love are demonstrated, it’s not only how it makes others feel. It is how you, in turn, blossom & heal from any ordeal….

Just as you ought not keep your partner deprived, your relationship with others you care about need to be constantly revived…

And if you go right now to the nearest mirror, you’d get to meet the true love of your life thereof….

How often do you show THAT what we’re speaking of?

Hoping a whole lot of….

Your Personal Coach

Dania

Categories: Coaching, Expectations, Mind Gym Tags:
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