Home > Coaching, comparison, Mind Gym, point of reference > Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s Your Point Of Reference?

Time For Your “Mind Gym” – What’s Your Point Of Reference?


Ever thought how often you compared? This to that? You to him or her? Now to then? Here to there? & many more….. Perhaps we need to do that to evaluate, to understand, to take action, to judge, or maybe to just have something to talk about.

Comparison can create contradictory feelings: jealousy vs. admiration; Misery vs. content; Shame vs. confidence; Feeling bad vs. feeling good….. It all depends on what you’re comparing with & your intention.

We all need a “point of reference” to measure our stance. Bigger gaps (not in our favor) result in sadder states especially if we think nothing can shorten the distance between that “point of reference” & where we stand (& I doubt the “nothing” here).

Consider, now, comparing yourself to those who are worse off than you are. I bet that leaves you feeling good. Keep your eyes on those ranking much higher above you, & your neck will ache with time. You’re better off looking at these as merely the “inspiring heroes” I talked about last time.

Let’s go deeper: what’s your intention as you do those comparisons? Do you attempt to level off disruptions, or bring yourself closer to that ideal reference? hmmm… now that would make a difference & certainly tips the scale towards more positive feelings…

And you know what? whatever you do…. whoever you compare yourself with…. “When you consider your ‘old self’ the ‘point of reference’ to compare your ‘present self’ with, this when you truly do yourself justice.” ~3Ds

Is the comparison, then, in your favor? Let me hear a “Yes”, please!

Never mind if you whisper “No”…. I can always hear that followed by: “but I’m working on it!” you could’ve fooled me, sunshine! 🙂

Oh, & did you locate that “future self” you’re creating? How far are you from there?

I’m taking a course in architecture. Measuring distances all the time. Care to join?

Your Personal Coach & assistant designer


  1. September 15, 2013 at 4:39 pm

    This is a great thought for those of us who tend to compare ourselves with others regularly, and who often feel we don’t measure up. I am not a competitive person but I do like competing with myself, pushing myself to do better, more, and to learn new things. I like the idea of taking stock, of measuring and regularly checking where we were, how we have grown, how we are doing and where we stand re our future goals. This gives us an opportunity, too, to give ourselves credit and to pat ourselves on the back once in a while, for jobs well done, and to remember what we learned when things didn’t go so well. I never thought of it, though, as comparing me with me. Now I will!


    • September 16, 2013 at 5:28 am

      Hi Iris 😉 I am so happy these Sunday messages bring you insights. Thanks for reading & leaving this comment 🙂 Yes, I too like to compete with my own self to be better & do more. Others inspire me with higher standards to set for , but in the end, it’s up to me to make it there or not 🙂
      Have an amazing new week ahead 🙂


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