Home > Coaching, Coping, Growth, Life in general, Personal progress, Power of Action, professional progress > “The Future Belongs to Those Who Ask!” ~ 3DS

“The Future Belongs to Those Who Ask!” ~ 3DS


I was invited by a colleague of mine to attend a negotiation seminar a few days ago. It was very inspiring, indeed, and validated many of the concepts I know and apply. The presentation touched on asking for discounts as we attempt to close some business deals. “If you don’t ask, the answer is always: NO!” the presenter announced. I agreed with that, but disagreed with asking for service discount. To me, that meant risking accepting less of what usually is offered (not too many people are conscientious, or are aware of the ramifications it has on their profession). With respect to displayed merchandise, the risks of getting less when you ask for a discount may be minimal, so go ahead ask for it. Demand it if you can (of course while paying attention to your tone). Take it at full price without asking, and you’ll always wonder if you could have done better. Those arguments made me reflect on the power of “asking” as determining much of our future life path.

Malcom X once said: “The future belongs to those who prepare for it today”. In a similar vein, Eleanor Roosevelt proposed: “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” In a congruent fashion, I believe that “the future belongs to those who ask!”  I asked to join the psychotherapy training program, and was lucky to get in despite being way past the deadline. I was surfing the net for ICF accredited “Coaching” schools and encountered the International Coach Academy. They called me and provided me with all the information I needed. I enrolled; and my career path changed in both instances. The positive consequence of “asking” for things applies to many other life areas I take initiative in. I just ask, and the universe responds in amazing ways. Sometimes I “ask”, but I’m denied only to find out later that something better was arranged for me.

 Hesitation to ask for something may have bases in the “fear of failure” (rejection can be a killer sometimes). “How can I courageously imply to that cute girl/guy that I like him/her? What if s/he said no?” That’s a dilemma many face. “How can I ask for that raise? Surely Management is working within a tight budget!” Truth is, don’t ask for it, and you stagnate. Would you want to wait (maybe forever) until your number is called out? Your chances are inevitably 50-50 to get it or not; despite your apparent strong belief (100%) you won’t get it. You don’t have all the “givens”. You have to be clairvoyant to forcefully say you know it all, don’t you? Alternatively, hesitation may have bases in the “fear of success”. You’d reason: “Me, with that cute guy/girl!” (Good God! a relationship would be too overwhelming), or “Me, with a better salary, or finally granted that promotion!” (I could be envied, or it could be too much to handle). This is when some self-sabotage to remain in their habitual comfort zone. Success seemingly carries with it an extra toll. Many would worry about change; it’s too much of an effort!

It probably is a known fact, by now, that any type of fear can be overcome only if faced. And if you still have doubt about what could happen IF so and so took place, ask yourself: so what? What could it mean? We tend to take things too seriously, so lighten up a bit. Talk about your concerns loud enough by taking the worst extreme scenario. Is it the end of the world? Can I try something different if this or that didn’t work out? Surely, choices are plenty if only we look hard enough. Again, and quoting my inspirational presenter “If you don’t ask, the answer is always: NO!” You ask, and it’s either a Yes, or a No. A “Yes” grants you what you want. A “No” needs to prompt you to ask again for something different. This is how you brighten up your future; this is how you leave your options wide open; this is why I believe: “The future belongs to those who ask!

  1. January 12, 2010 at 3:07 pm

    I agree that you need to ask to dispel doubt. However reading the title I thought you meant more about curiosity, there was a good saying back when we were in an online forum that, “if you ask for promotion, you wont get any”. I do not think asking in itself is a way to move forward, but agree that you should ask if you have any doubts.
    So if the question is to either hesitate to ask or ask, then most probably you should ask. Although I’d like to note sometime due to asking you might lose something, so it not always come with no dangers.
    Now the real questions is if all things should be asked about, because then again if you keep asking, without improving you are still the same place you started.
    Personally I’d rather people notice some things instead of being asked to do something, and if they do not, it is their loss.
    Though the point of the post is pretty much interesting, and I’d agree with most of it.

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    • dddania
      January 12, 2010 at 3:39 pm

      Interesting points you raise there Tony 🙂 curiosity is a characteristic of all those who have a brighter future.
      On another note, maybe I needed to stress the way we “ask for things”, but then again I am trying to limit the length of the articles (I hear complaints about loooong posts – we lose readers). “Asking” can take many forms: from demanding answers, to implying and hinting. Some people just don’t get it when you hint at what you want. You definitely are right about losing some appeal when you ask to be given specific things (e.g. love, affection,…). You expect it sometimes without being so straight forward. But what would you do if the other party just doesn’t get it? and you want to work hard on it? to me, the best option is to be really bland about it. I have encountered many with relationship problems specifically because of this lack of effective communication 🙂
      Even asking for a promotion, to me, does not mean losing prospects. It all depends on how you ask for it:)
      You know what? I have to thank you for giving me the idea of tagging you guys to read those posts on facebook (I learn a lot from you Tony :). I “asked ” to be given feedback by my closest friends, but rarely got it until yesterday (I had to be more specific). I earlier relied on just posting the link on my status and very few responded.
      So thanks again for reading & for replying (you’re a very thoughtful young man 🙂 )

      Like

      • January 12, 2010 at 4:40 pm

        Well your most welcome. But I suggest you add the blog-post link, so that they could comment here, plenty of people don’t use facebook, plus its better to comment on the source.
        The common misconception about blogs, is that the post, and comments go like “I like it” etc… While really the comments are sometimes more important as they stem discussion, though that method is not appreciated by most bloggers

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        • dddania
          January 12, 2010 at 5:42 pm

          Thanks for another brilliant tip 😉 Agreed on those comments triggering discussions. but even if they say they like it only, I’d be more than happy. At least I know I am writing for someone to read. Love having an audiance, don’t you 🙂

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