Choosing to Move Forward (1)

The other day, as I waited to meet a friend at my mostly frequented coffee shop, I had an interesting brief conversation with the waiter on duty. He just opened up to brief me on his latest news. “I applied to this famous hotel chain and am hopefully quitting this place” he said. He then continued to list his frustration with his current job and how there was no room for promotion there. At the age of 38, he found himself needing to advance forward instead of being stuck in the same monotonous job. He presented more reasons that moved him into taking action towards change. He had a vision of a better fit to his aspirations and I thought that “Wow!! This is a really healthy sign of thriving on the profession”.


I compared that waiter to a friend of mine who excessively whines of monotony at the work place; yet, does not do anything to change or add flavor to what she does. Despite my constant attempts at directing her towards exploring the options there, she would be very resistant to suggestions of all sorts. She might be too afraid to trying something new, or move out of her comfort zone. There must be something appealing in her current employment, but she surely wouldn’t openly recognize it, or look for it. She was oblivious to her power of making choices to effect some change.


Such varied responses between frustrated people on the job prevail to varying extents. Some of us choose to deal with the problem and are proactive to move forward; others choose the easier path of whining that they have a problem. It’s as if things could change to the better by a magical intervention, but would they? Could we hope for remedy if we do not solicit it, or even take action towards it? The choice to progress needs to stem from a burning and motivating desire to grow. No one can instill it for someone else. Surely others can nourish it along the way, but it has to be already there. Do you have a vision of the best self you want to be? If so, my guess is that you’re on the path of moving forward…..


  1. Rain
    September 30, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    I nag then i seek a change, so am i considered proactive? or reactive ? 😛
    I agree with what you said, i am the type that complains, I write, I talk, but i as well Act, if something i am not satisfied with, i do something about it… and few does! for many reasons, lack of courage, or fear of the consequences.
    anw i did enjoy reading ur post 🙂


    • dddania
      September 30, 2009 at 6:35 pm

      Thanks for your feedback Reine.

      At least you finally act and do something about your concerns :), but you do it after some thought which is great !!! you might consider the nagging as a waste of time, but you’re actually letting the problem simmer for a while until you find the right solution (so I hope). Reacting directly to problems can back fire. Taking sometime to analyze the situation (or process it) is perfect. Maybe it’s your own way of finding the right thing to do (to complain, write about it or talk).

      As long as you end up resolving your problems by an action, you’re on the right track. Being proactive means taking action even if there was no major problem Being reactive means taking action only when a problem emerges. So where do you think you are on that dimension? this is a question only you can answer.

      All the best active lady!!!


  2. September 30, 2009 at 10:01 pm

    Sometimes complaining is a method of letting your feelings (whether they are anger or anything else) out. This is a healthy and necessary process.


    • dddania
      October 1, 2009 at 5:08 am

      While it’s true that “venting” is a great coping mechanism, complaining over the same subject over & over again while doing nothing about it becomes a nuisance for those on the receiving end; and eventually serves only to make that comment grow for the person concerned.

      I hope you’re the type who just vents not complains Roland 🙂


  3. October 1, 2009 at 6:37 pm

    I agree that nagging does not get us forward, but sometimes we should also not just hop in, without studying the situation, and if it seams a better situation it would be better to jump in. It is about the courage to take new initiative, in theory and (hopefully) in practice, one must be always be seeking new things whether the person is at ease and comfortable with something or isn’t, but also finding new opportunities and things that do not benefit us, like making a bad move without the necessary study would also devastate one. Although it is known that some MBTI personalities have an increased tendency to not take initiative even while mistreated.
    It is a bit weird that that guy waited for the age of 38 to make such a move, but what is more important is that he had the courage to go with it.

    Brilliant post! Time for personal initiative!! ^^


    • dddania
      October 1, 2009 at 7:25 pm

      Thanks for your comment Tony. Yes, I do agree about giving some thought before taking action. It becomes really dangerous when people REACT. Responding to whatever arrises is a better option. It entales the ‘some giving thought’ to whatever dilemma one faces as you mention; thus, there’s a difference between responding and reacting.
      go ahead in that initiative of yours. I love action. There’s a lot of power in it 🙂


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