Home > Coaching, Effective communication, Life in general > You Are One of a Kind!!

You Are One of a Kind!!


 

 

So I was conversing the other day with a friend of mine when he said something that lit a bulb in my mind’s eye. He mentioned that he finds everybody the same. He fell in the trap of over-generalization. Without hesitation, I responded that I disagreed. It’s a matter of perspective, I guess. He looks at sameness. I try to find the unique qualities in every person I meet. I don’t suppose people have a lot of commonalities. I mean, physically we share the basics, but what fascinates me about human nature is the unique combination of the varied qualities or traits forming one’s character. That’s what magnetized me to be in the peoples’ business; and aim at partnering with others in their process of self-discovery.

Do you share my belief that YOU are special in YOUR own way? When I hold this attitude as I talk to you, you shine. Come to treating you as yet another ordinary person, that sparkle in your eyes fades 😦 . Experiment on it and see for your self. Notice the difference in another person’s behavior when you treat him/her on bases of fault-finding or neutrality on one hand, and with affirmation of their best unique qualities on the other hand. The outcomes are amazingly polarized. This happens because we all have a grounded unequivocal conviction that no one can ever match our being that idiosyncratic in so many ways. We could make use of external sincere reminders to support that guiding principle no matter how hard we try not to openly seek it.

So, when I interact with you, you can be confident that I will be exploring the best in you. I will try hard to find those things in you that I would want to imitate. I will make sure to voice out loud the commendable actions you demonstrate. That mind-set requires a lot of training; and it definitely is not easy to take that stance permanently all of a sudden. You can object that you cannot apply this attitude to every one you meet. Abound are those whom you hold a grudge against, or shun to cut the cords of any further possible maltreatment. To that I say, give yourself some time to forgive and forget. Meanwhile, find where they blossom and eulogize it. You’ll find that things can take on a different turn.

You can, also, balk that people might think you’re just sucking in. To that I say, when people find out how genuine you are, and that your attitude is consistent with all those you meet, they will know that with you, they are in safe hands; and that their image you will never break. You are unique in so many positive ways. It’s those positive attributes that I try hard to find in our first encounter. It is those positive attributes that I keep looking for in further exchanges…..

  1. September 11, 2009 at 5:59 am

    Well it is a subject I do talk about in my blog ^^

    Humans have distinct personalities and distinct ways of processing and thinking, therefore they are each and every one unique and distinct. There are two stands which could normally be taken when viewing such difference.
    The first, constructive stance, is the one you detailed in this post, however that stance not only requires training but requires also a lot of humbleness because you have to accept that sometimes other people may outperform you in a certain way or that exists another view than yours that you have to view and respect, admitting something that is different from oneself and from one views require another view of the human traits and interaction.

    The second, destructive stance, is to ignore, and treat everyone equally as if they had nothing to offer, perhaps blocking them of what they actually want to say or just filtering out what they are saying because in a sense one feels himself superior or solemnly right and that one is above all.

    Perhaps, there are people who are normal, just because they weren’t given the opportunity to be heard or given enough attention, or have been unknowingly coerced to hide what makes them special.

    The diverse and unrestricted sharing of thoughts, the understanding that the more views there is that differ with ours, to understand that our view can be wrong, take in constructive criticism with a smile on one’s face, are in my opinion, the components of a better and more peaceful world.

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    • dddania
      September 11, 2009 at 11:21 am

      Thanks for dropping by Tony & for extending my post and elaborating more 🙂 I must agree with your further analysis. Still, I believe, those who appear normal may burry a lot of special things deep inside. It would take some effort to recognize what these are 🙂

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  2. coachingintogreatness
    September 22, 2009 at 5:16 pm

    Just great COACH DANIA. You always are. I loved reading your post. You really turn people into greatness with your inspiration :):)

    Like

    • dddania
      September 22, 2009 at 6:09 pm

      What an honor to have a comment from my own coach on my humble blog 🙂
      Thanks Roberto. I owe it to you 🙂

      Like

  3. Rain
    October 1, 2009 at 8:52 am

    I used to think my friends are special, because they are so unique, little I knew that I was able to see each one of my friend as an individual as I got to know them better which made me see their uniqueness, and I am fascinated as well by humans.
    And indeed it pushes the person to be better, people I met told me that it keeps reminding them about how special they are, which they forget with time.
    I would like to add something as well, when people keep focusing on the bad side of the person, what he does wrong, what he is not good at, what he can’t do, the person himself forget the good side of him, what he is good at…
    But if we remind the person and focus more, and tell him more, about how capable he is, and how amazing they are, he will see more potential in himself, and he will become a better person.
    Celebrate individuality, the worst thing said to me, or said to others is be like “this person”, why you don’t act like “this person”, look at “this person” …
    I am the oldest in the family, all the kids in the family look up to me, and because I was always good at school, the one who love to read a lot, and ask a lot, and search a lot, they keep telling them why don’t you be like her, and I fire back, because I do not want them to be anything but themselves.
    We are not the same, each one of us if different in his own way, crazy in his own way, smart in his/her own way… we are special indeed, and we do need each others to grow, and learn, we need to exchange our uniqueness, our beliefs, our thoughts.

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    • dddania
      October 1, 2009 at 8:11 pm

      What you’re talking about has a name in social psychology. It’s called the “self-fulfilling prophecy” where by people actually start behaving in the way they are told they are, or even sense others believe they are (for instance: tell a child he’s dump repeatedly; and evenyually he’ll start acting like an idiot). Google it if you’d like to know more. I’d like to acknowledge you for discovering this phenomenon on your own 🙂

      As to your parents pointing out your great achievements for others to emulate, I am sure they mean well. Modelling is a great way to learn. All those who succeed on any endeavour try to have a role model to look up to. It can be frustratig to you & your siblings when you’re in the spotlight all the time, I understand. They can never be you, but they surely can opt to be the success you are & still be unique in their own way 🙂 you’re special & one of kind in that way 🙂

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